Wandering about
Mutable U.
Which seems like Santa Cruz
Pahn finds himself being chased by two teenagers
across
the ravine
up
through the forest
out
of the coastal range
those local hills
he trespassed so much
in his youth
into the Range of Light
and deep snow
amused
by his sudden need
for a dogsled
He thinks they will catch him
slowed by the snow
He thinks they will not because
they don’t really need to
and its cold and hard going for them
But as he climbs he realizes
that he has dreamed this wrong—
between the Santa Cruz Mountains
and
the Sierra Nevada
there is a valley
and he has not crossed this valley
So he has to start again
looking back over
the Sierran forests
he sees Ben Lomond Mt.
and the afternoon ocean
behind it
and his sight zooms in
to see himself standing there
Again he is ascending
through the mixed conifers
and future cabins
the snow having melted
the air thick with June
and
coming to the crest
of a hill
he finds the ideal meadow
and comments to Aiks
who
isn’t there
“This is the place”
But
it is probably already taken
And
he doesn’t have time to stop…
…He is near that section of town
Portland/Santa
Cruz
with its large wild park
and old mansion
that he dreamed
with his wife/sister
fifteen years before…
…and now he is walking
where his grandfather Zeyeuss lived
Santa
Barbara
in the same wet dusk
on the same degree of slope
with the same sense of era
looking out over
Ben Lomond
Mountain again
at the fog
finally
overcoming its summit
after
months of dry wind
And into this gray mist walks Junipera
with her fine
fairy features
and her doubtful manner
doing her
best
to understand
and
convey ideas
in conversation
conversation
now lost
Pahn smiles
his twenty-years-
older smile
feels a little guilty
and walks away
into the
building
at
Mutable U. again
scuttling
through
short
corridors
with many doors
leading
to identical corridors
with
identical doors
Amused
that his dream is doing this to him
he
wonders with some hopeful
anticipation
where he will come out
but he never does
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