Of Granite Lakes
…Pahn
has been wondering
if
when walking
in
the snow at night
one
can see the way
by the reflected light
as
he puts this question into words
he
glides
into
a
winter
thicket
of conifers
following
a
trail
in the dark
the snow
glowing
faintly
beneath him
The
trail leads to a road
He
plods
past a parking lot
and small
building
all
covered by an even fresh-fallen layer all
glowing
a
dim blue-grey
slowly
lightening
He
leaves the road by an empty lodge
crossing
into a rocky landscape where
he
hears the voices of a couple just awakening
His
mind wanders onto a map where
he
sees he is
in a high hanging
valley
and
he hears the name of a river and meadows
In
his next view
he
is looking down
on
the valley deeply gouged
and
scraped down to the grey granite by ice
and
to the north-east a slope rises to fluted
cliffs
thousands of feet high
On
the ground he crosses
a
small rise in the trail to where he has
a
closer view up the valley that holds
a long
wide
pool in a hollow…
…He
has gone to the concession and returned with Aiks
He
leaves Aiks
following
or someone like her
who wanders
over the ascending
granite
shelves
toward the cliff
and near the highest
shelf
he
sees that the slope levels out
and
he wonders if there is
a
lake
at
the foot of the chute
though
he hasn’t seen it on the map
Then
Aiks comes to lead him back
encouraging him to think
that there is a lake
and
turning away
from Pholoa’s path
he looks back out across the valley
and sees
far
below and away
the
shimmer of water
but turning back again
toward
the cliff
he
has come upon a large and cold
grey-green-blue
lake
that brims
to the edge of the shelf
Juna's Garden
Pahn
is lying in a garden
with
Juna
Her
head is on his chest
She
instructs him
to
nibble
on
her ear He
bends
down
easily
as
if he had no body
with
his tongue
under
her lobe
his lips drag
awkwardly
over
her
feeling
the convolutions
of
her hearing
“You didn’t do it very well”
She
says
He
already knows that
His
heart wasn’t in it
but
he knows
her
pale is fleshy
and
her smallness soft
and
that he might
if
he thinks of her as a coquette
and
not a queen
enjoy
her
like
cream
Chandra--a Guide to the Spirit World
Pahn and Aiks are
staying
at a hotel The room is dim lit
by a grey-blue
glow that comes from an unseen source—
perhaps the adjacent bathroom
Pahn
leaves the room to
go get something…
….He goes into the
mountains…
…He is walking
up a trail
in a small
sloping valley
paralleling a small
creek
with winter
brush
As the land
slowly
rises
he finds
large
and shaggy maples
still holding there
gold
autumn
leaves
It is a foreign
place a place
he has never
visited before not even in his
dreams
He explores
The trail seems
to take him
back
to the hotel
It is dusk now
The sky is the grey-blue of evening
overcast
He crosses the lawn that lies
between the hotel rooms and the lobby
Pahn
is interested in
the grass It is
a tall grass that
isn’t mown It is
like rattlesnake
grass only shorter and apparently
evergreen growing in the manner
of Berkeley
Sedge…
…He is briefly in
the lobby of the hotel then
starts to walk toward his room There is
a glassed panel at an angle
along the eave of
the second floor that acts
like a mirror showing any room that is lit and Pahn
can plainly see Aiks sleeping on the bed
Pahn sees that she has the usual shape
of a reclining woman
and she is
attractive to him
Pahn
is a little
concerned that she is in view to anyone
but knows
that when they turn off the lights
no one will be able to
see
He comes into the
room
and tells her that
she is in plain view and
some stranger seeing
her
might come in to have her
She smiles and
laughs mischievously
and says
“you are a
stranger”
“I am a stranger?” he asks
“Yes
you are a stranger”
He climbs onto her bed
and leans over her knees
and as he pulls
her up to him
the blankets fall
away
and her clothes
are already gone
The two of them
sink down
into the mattress
and his penis is already
snuggling into her
vulva He pushes into her
and he begins to
thrust gently
at first
He feels a little
awkward in this position and thinks
he is at an angle
that is better if she is on top
She is on top for
a moment
but when he thinks it would be better
if he were taking
her from behind she is
in yet another
position
of indefinite nature—
inside out
upside down
across
the room
finally
he is behind her holding her waist
and pulling her
onto him
as he thrusts
in this position
he suddenly wonders
if it would be better
with Djuturna
In that moment Aiks in fact
becomes
Djuturna—Djuturna who is lighter and thinner
and he can move her faster
and more easily
He is clutching
the soft flesh of her buttocks
as he pulls her
onto
him He loosens
his grip slightly briefly when he
thinks he is pinching
and he is getting very close
He is so close
that
he is surprised
that he hasn’t come yet…
…Pahn is in
Djuturna’s kitchen talking
Their conversation swirls
and flows like a stream
first swishing against
one rock
then against another and
he wonders
if
he is projecting
when she seems to be
suggesting
that they make love
He thinks that her
children are too old now to ignore—
they would be
aware
and they would know
He thinks of her husband
who now must be in
the adjacent room and
is surprised again
that she would
suggest they make love when
he might come in
at any time
Then it is Pahn
who is suggesting love
and it is Djuturna
who apologizes because they can’t
and
in the absence of
opportunity he says
he must leave
and they hug
with sad and desperate affection
for a very long
time
until her husband comes in and
they break
and she makes some
excuse for their embrace
and she pours them
lemonade and some other drink
There is
a fourth person
now and they all clink glasses
At first
Pahn wonders how he
will clink
because they haven’t given him a glass
but he raises his hand anyway
and realizes
he already was
holding a glass
even though theirs
are full
and his is
nearly empty
They all clink
glasses together at once
and then Djuturna
clinks Pahn’s a
second time
just to be sure
theirs have touched
and their lemonades
splash onto each other…
…Hehrmess has come
to pick up Pahn
and is
waiting with Djuturna as Pahn gets
ready to leave
Pahn is surprised when Djuturna lets out a sob
and hugs Pahn desperately
crying
and expressing her
desolation
at having to let him go
He is a little
embarrassed
that she has done
this
in front of
Hehrmess but
then he is so moved
and grateful that
she wants him so much
and when she
finally pulls herself together
and lets him go he leans back into her and kisses
her tear-streaked
cheek He is surprised at doing this
in
front of his father but feels at that
point
that he will
understand and or simply doesn’t
care
…
Pahn is with Aiks and she says
he could get a job
driving a school bus
He says
that would be no
better than his current job She insists
that it would be better though she is
laughing as she
says it
He says
the bus is too
large and dangerous and
he doesn’t want
the responsibility
for the lives of
all those children
and for a moment he is driving the bus
and comes to a
place on
a wooded road
where he has to
turn onto another road The edges
of the
intersection are not clearly marked and
there is a sign in the way so he
has to swing out
wide to make the turn
Then just as
suddenly
he is back talking to Aiks
…
He
is in Djuturna’s kitchen again
which
is open to the woods
He
has just walked up a path
far
too narrow for a bus
First
Djuturna
says
that
they have to stay on the path
and then
she
squeezes herself into a long clear tube
and
Pahn says to Aiks
or
whoever it is that is with him
that Djuturna must know what's best
because
she is Chandra—a guide
to the spirit world
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