Part 13: THE AFFECTION OF THE UNTAMED

Dimphna (invocation)
Lost Sequences of Personalities
Squirrel
Mayahri (invocation)
They Draw Still Closer
The Most Sensitive
Quartz Schist
Before Marrying Eithnia
Vague and Scattered Betrothals
Like a Spirit
.

Dimphna

.

Crossing ....................the channel
..............from the mind
................................................lost
..............................................accosted

there is a forest.....................................................
a labyrinth of desire............................
the melting face..............
the paralyzed limbs
the subtle voices
...............................of pines
........the absurd protection
....................................of toadstools
accompaniment
.............................of grasses
......hiding stones

clarity brings us
safe....................
..............................................and honest longing

............................we are adoring
................we are lying

........on a bed of blades

.

Lost Sequences of Personalities

In a workshop

of story fragments

Pahn sits    on the south side    of the room

in an arc of desks    listening

to Ahshehra talk and call

upon them to recite 

 and Pahn remembers     having written

something     He flips

through his papers     finding

essay pages

and long-lines of prosy

phrases       but 

Lehsohveekha    is it her?      Speaks

 first

her words are lost now

and toward the end    of her page   he hears

Dimphna’s voice

reading in unison

and recalls now        that they

have    collaborated in his fondness for them  

The class ends

and he watches them drive

toward the roundabout     in the coastal plain

  then takes    the roundabout himself…

…soon he is riding

 through the rhythm-and-blues

neighborhood    toward the bohemian

district       with an old bluesman

        on the radio   He is following

a man    on a bicycle    wearing

a faded orange-brown

blazer    who turns and smiles

back at the sound

of the song    and begins

to sway with the

 music           

And Pahn

       with the memory

of the class

with Dimphna and Lehsohveekha    behind him

now knows   

he can dance with music

he always knew he had rhythm

but was unable to express it

jumping

and popping

        his bicycle

down the block             and

        around

         the                        

          corner…

…he has arrived at the front of a store

that has the smell of recycled age—

the sharp edges and white walls

of fifties modern    plastered onto the frame

of indefinite past    eras     and layered

with post-modern decoration       It is

a palimpsest of influences—

Empire/

Eichler/

East Indian/

New England Collegiate/

Kinsey/

Adrienne Rich/

Silvia Plath/

Beatnik/

Hippie   Pahn

leaves his bike and meets a young woman     who? 

in front of the store  and picks up   there

a bounteous tangled soft   

               hank of dull orange yarn

                                 that he holds in his arms

                          like a child

dragging the loose loops

through the damp dirt 

                                         laughing

                                  with the woman

                     and making jokes

of realizing      it was left there

because the end had been vomited on       Swiftly

and confidently          he swings his hand

through the strands

like a sharp knife

through soba noodles

                                                    freeing

the clean and happy

                                               from the bedraggled

 

                                                And Pahn

is so happy in the woman’s company

                                                           that he says

they should marry…

…he is inside the store             Rakhehla

is with him now      suggesting another woman whom 

Pahn met years ago

but as

he peruses the rooms—

a vague venue

of books and paintings

                                  objet d’art 

                  and gauzy second-hand clothes—

he flirts

                                                      with the Rakhehla-woman

saying beautiful things

                                to her    as she shifts

in and out of various loves    of Pahn

                                                                   slowly

gravitating into Dimphna

 and after a while

he is so happy with her             that he suggests

that they should marry also

                                                but

reminds himself        and her

that he has just suggested the same

to the other woman

                                    outside 

It is getting late

                     and she in her shy

                               contented amour     says

good-night to Pahn     and goes

to another room

where she lies down

       sleepily

and happily

recounting to Rakhehla the lines of poetry

                                 that he has spoken to her

of how beautiful and loving

                                             they were

                                                                       and she drifts

                                                into a topographic sleep

while 

Pahn slowly lifts

                                             above the building

 

seeing the first woman fade

 into a valley like Egairia

on a geologic map       a small

        and level

glade in metamorphic terrain

 

seeing the second woman fade

into a valley like Djuturna

thin

and gentle

                   of light felsic terrain

    sloping

              gently

to the East

Squirrel

.

Pahn is walking about his pastures
accompanied
periodically
by Daphnis
and other children ....A squirrel
flits around them like a cat ...seeming
to ignore them .....but
staying close by

At one point the children ....excited
by the squirrel’s friendly
proximity .....reach
to pet him on the branch of a tree
Pahn is worried that the squirrel ..which is wild
might bite them.....
but they can’t resist reaching
....................................out to touch
The squirrel stays docile
................but is uncomfortable
with their petting against ...the nap
.............................................of its fur

Pahn sits .....in an armchair
.........................in his field ...among
the lichened boulders
and oaks .......to sew
and lets his head back ..........to rest ..The squirrel
comes and stands
on the arm
in its edge-of-calm
....cat-like ..sort of way
and Pahn..................................
can feel its frantic
heart-beat and panting.........
Pahn reaches slowly
.................to its head ....brushing
its fur gently
down its neck.................

and the squirrel flutters
calmly.....................................
from ...under his hand.........
...................hopping
about ...the chair
as if taking an interest
....................................in the sewing

It climbs down .....into Pahn’s lap
nibbling incomprehensibly
the jeans at his crotch

Pahn is afraid
but he can’t think
of any reason
that the creature would bite there ....so
keeps to his calm

and the squirrel .....eventually
stops and rests
.......affectionately
........in his lap
as Pahn gently caresses..................
................its back

Pahn wants..............................
to tell Ahlmah ..of his success

because Ahlmah
is untamed by him .....and he thinks
he could sit calmly at her side
and she would bring her affection to him

and soon he is standing.........
....and walking
................................through his meadow
talking warmly
with a woman

but it is Mayahri..............
.............................not Ahlmah

.

Mayahri

.

impulses from the ivory glow
growing
fatter
then thinner ..finally
a sliver ..........of bright crescent

..............................................we are floating

..........we are wanting to disappear
we are returning .....full ....slimming
............................................away

pulling the water’s..............................
fondness onto shore..........
easily loved ..we are


........................out of reach
.

They Draw Still Closer

Pahn is driving a giant

          yellow excavator

Seeing Djuturna        by his play structure he stops

                   his large machine

at a safe distance    and walks over to her

He is standing

                      beside her

                   Egairia

who has left her husband

is nearby         watching Djuturna’s young son

and Heemir (or Dave Van Ronk?) and others

are standing     across from them

 

                                                   Pahn

                            wants to touch Djuturna 

He is wondering            

            how he may    touch her

             

                  in this public place

He remembers

 how she has put her hand on his arm

and rubbed his back  

                and so he thinks      he       may also 

  and

            reaches his arm             to rest

                                                            softly

                                                         against her

 

He doesn’t know if that is enough

He lets his hand slide

around her side

and feels her body rising

                          through his arm

                                                     to his heart

                        his hand

sinking into her waist

  He wants to pull her together with him

but restrains himself

 

                                           Over by his fence

Djuturna’s young son is climbing a ladder 

Pahn      is surprised that Egairia

               is letting him climb 

The toddler ascends to the top rung              and teeters 

there while Egairia

             lost

                        in thought stares             at the fence           

                                touches the vines on the slats 

Pahn      is surprised

that she            is not paying attention

                     and surprised

that Djuturna is not watching              He sees

the boy fall

straight down  to the ground

 landing on his feet             

            Pahn steps away

 from Djuturna         and walks

  toward the little boy

 

on his way      he is taken aside by Heemir

who tells him quietly

that he is crazy

                                                to hold back from Djuturna 

that it is obvious

Djuturna wants him

              and that he is being mean

                         to not let her have him

Pahn goes to the boy     picking him up

bumping the boys head against the ladder (he thinks)

                                 But the boy is happy

                                                             to be lifted

He carries him back to Djuturna

and hearing Heemir’s voice in his ear

kisses her

on the mouth 

Pahn    and Djuturna

are chastened

                by the intensity

                               of their kiss

He sees himself

          with her inside             his head

                              floating

               in stippled                     

                 grey      making love                        

                                           and knows                
                                         and knows

                                                   and knows

but he still feels                                   

 constrained

                                                               to hold her