Part 16: WARM SCANDINAVIAN JOY

Warm Scandinavian Joy


…Pahn awakens in a gray-lavender room


Pahn is looking at a Scandinavian estuary 
              The river flows clear      and green      riffling
               over the sandbar
                                  into an inlet      sheltered
                  from the ocean    
by a small 
                                 
    island                                
  
Pahn is swimming    in the warm
Scandinavian      joy
floating
in calm pleasure


Across the Nordic
summer field             Pahn sees
a woman in black underwear
bending over                                           
to pick something up in her yard


Aiks comes into the gray-lavender room
and talks casually to Pahn 

Pahn becomes aroused      and Aiks
accuses him of wanting
the woman in the field  

Pahn takes Aiks’ hand     and leads her
to the bed where he
pushes her onto the mattress   and holds her wrists…

…He steps away from her to find
she is the other woman    and looking down
he sees her skin surrounding     and
as he ascends
 into the wrinkled
hose
he sees white crystals
pushing out the open top…

…In the gray-lavender room 
Pahn is looking at the covers        while Aiks
is packing Pahn finds a cache
of broken    colored glass    
hidden in a fold of sheets     He takes it
to a corner of the room        where he finds also
colored beads              He imagines
it is part of someone’s project
but Aiks
knows nothing about it 

Pahn imagines                                                  
the creative possibilities
of the materials


They have gone down the coast
from Norway to northern California      and found
another river                            
flowing into the ocean 

Here the river is clear
and golden          
flowing over
 fine gravel
 directly                         
 into the ocean              

Pahn contemplates the interface
between    
fresh   and salty water
and comments                                    
that the river                   
    prevents anything from entering it 

Aiks says                                                                             

“It has a dog with sharp
                                        jagged jaws
that scares away intruders” 

Pahn                                                                               
looks at the water and sees only a row of rocks
delineating the limit of intrusion
and can’t quite see how
just those rocks
                   could keep out an ocean

         but is willing to consider it


The Killing of the Dictator


Pahn has come into a room

A friend of Pahn’s is sitting
on the floor nearby    working
with beads and rags 

A random Roman dictator                                       
comes into the room    and                    
stands in front of Pahn      taking
a nonchalant
     amused
         and challenging stance 

These thoughts run quickly through Pahn’s mind—
that the dictator is mean                     
       and heartless
                        having no redeeming characteristics
      that he persists                                          
in his position of authority    because
no one has the nerve
        to do away with him
            that the dictator will assume                            
Pahn is harmless                    
(because Pahn exudes
             kindness and sympathy)
that the dictator will therefore              
leave himself open to attack
  
Pahn pulls his scimitar from its sheath                     
and takes the stance                               
of Hindu warrior                         
from the time of Asoka 

The dictator mocks him 

They circle the room once or twice

Pahn thrusts the sword                                                         
into the dictator’s chest 
Pahn knows that he hasn’t pierced               
   the heart     and thrusts again
Still he is not sure of a kill                           
and slices the dictators neck
on both sides
  
The dictator slumps and dies 

Pahn’s friend mumbles approval
             without looking up from his beads
               and rags


Pahn has been with a woman  for a while

He sits now                                      
by the corner of a building
working on the ground 

He is afraid                                      
that the authorities
                 or the dictators supporters
will come after him.

He isn’t sure                                    
if anyone will know
                                that he has killed the dictator
He can’t even remember                 
     what he has done with the body 
He isn’t sure                                   
  if he should be scared     or not 



He Can Comfort a Child


In a modern house
             a living-room             
              an easy chair       Pahn
 is reading comfortably                      
He hears voices from the next room—
a classroom
the professor speaking sternly     and in anger
to a mother and child    
who have done something wrong
 
“And you    are to blame”

The professor says to the mother                                                                                                
“Now you must take your child out of the class
and I suggest you go away for a while
and think about this” 

Pahn hears the door open                                       
to the adjacent foyer                                    
      and listens as the nearly distraught
      mother
speaks to the little girl                 

“You are going to stay with Pahn while I go out”

  she repeats

“You stay with Pahn until I get back”

 and he hears the outside door close  
Pahn sets down his book     calmly                                  
and gets up 
He walks into the foyer                       
and to the front door                             
    which he opens to look out     where
he sees the mother trying                           
desperately
     to negotiate the yard       in her car 
       There are       many obstacles                              
and Pahn wanders how     
and why    
she parked her car there

He closes the door                                                   
He feels concern     for the mother                           
but is certain      that she will be all right 
He knows                                                                 
that he cannot help her                               
 
            Instead                                                       
 he turns to the child  
He kneels down                                                              
               in front of her                                                
   He sees             she is on the verge of tears              
                                    
       He opens       his arms to her                             
                                                 
He is not sure     if she will     come to him
because she doesn’t know him     
      but she trusts him immediately
    and rushes into his embrace
 
    The two go                                                     
 into the living room        
where they sit
down near the door    to the kitchen                                      
 There                                                                                                                        
       while she plays safely    and happily on the floor

Pahn watches her                                 
with the greatest confidence
               and contentment     knowing
that if he can
               only do one thing

it is                                    
to comfort a child


Rain Flight

.
He hears ...that a distant plane                                       
has crashed                                          

In the rain                                                     
among rescuers                                  
at the sea     an even darkness 

                     windy squalls
he seeks              

         to fly
through bad weather                               

      on the watery rough
and lifts   

                          his wings    uncertain
if it were he                      
who went down                               
or will go down                                         
or has the ability to rise     
                                                into the falling air

                                                                  He takes off over
                      the blackened beach
                                                  skirting
                                                         the inclined deck of a pier
                                                                               to fitfully ascend
                   and drop
                                                       under the gale
                                                                        never sure
                                                                                    if he will

                              pitch
                                                                                                  or soar

.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS


Some of these poems originally appeared in the following publications

Avocet
Dream International Quarterly
mojo risin'
The Muse Apprentice Guild (The MAG)
Transfer

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