Part 18: Roots and Molds

Wooly Thighs



Pahn has been wandering                                    
wandering     
                      with his Mexican friends
                         exploring their employer’s land 
They have seen a truck                              
                       hauling a huge    old  
                                                        concrete
blast-furnace           onto the property   
                    from     another location 
It reminds Pahn     of a ruin                                                    
     of a ruin                  
                he explored in the past
            on another of the owner’s parcels
 
They go there now to explore it again

                                   The outside     of the ruin   
has been a garden     
 for many years                                 
 and is now a nursery     where plants are reared


Pahn walks   the chalky gravel
enclosed
                        by the ruined walls   
           by himself  
wondering      how the hydrangeas survive     
in so much sun
                 with so little water 
 thinking of Aiks                              
because she loves hydrangeas                    
 he picks up a few things    to buy
      and goes inside                                                          
 through an open entr                            y  
into a hallway now                             
with several doors      leading
to abandoned rooms— 
some he has explored before 
others were inaccessible

       He wants to examine them all   

First                                                            
he opens       the large    double doors   
 at the end of the hall
to his left   They are heavy
and behind them
          there is a second set      of heavy doors         
that he opens as well 

These open into a restaurant

Now                                                  
 he feels                         
exposed 

He hears a bit of conversation                          
from some of the restaurant patrons—
a story about someone           making a joke
of Pahn’s employer’s name             and they speak
 with concern of how
he must endure        such teasing       
frequently 
The patrons seem      genuinely                 
sympathetic to him   but Pahn thinks
 their sympathy is excessive
for such a small thing
to such a rich man
 
Pahn feels rustic                                                          
and out of place        among the patrons
and begins to close the doors again     but
before he moves the doors                                        
an inch                                      
Ahpadeyva                
(of the starry face)                            
comes to a nearby table                                          
    and she      seeing Pahn      approaches      
takes his hand
           takes his hand and
   tells him
to ignore the doors
                    and leads him confidently
confidently past the patrons                
     informing him      that she
                       has something for him to do

By the time she reaches the reception desk
she has changed 

Her hair has darkened
and she has become                         
         somewhat more compact
and voluptuous
   rounder          
                   Her shawl      which had been
a light leaf                               
and floral of earth tones
is now black     and lacey
and somehow                                             
there are gaps in her clothes
that open as she walks
      exposing her hipbones
and inner thighs             
 
To Pahn these clothes                
seem like bedroom attire                                 
but they are so loose
and flowing
he wonders     how                                                 
one could frolic in bed           without tearing       
 or getting tangled   
He looks down at her lap                                                       
as they come to the desk                                              
and she sits down                                                     
crossing her legs                                         
He sees as if in a close-up             
     that her dress has parted
showing her black lace          underwear           
and her partially exposed hips
He can see that her thighs
are covered thickly
with wooly hair          identical                       
to the hair on her head                         
    whereas      around      and beneath
         her panties
has clearly been shaved
 
Reading his mind she says                                        
”I find
I can let the hair on my thighs grow
and men don’t seem to be bothered
but
I shave my pubis
so that it seems clean”  

Pahn is nodding      as he leans over       realizing now
that he himself       is completely naked      with
his manhood resting     neatly    
on the corner of the desk
neatly                                                         
                                                      resting
 
He says                                                                                  
“I like being hairy because it makes me feel like who I am”

She nods
                                                       
A series of thoughts                                                  
 now come through his head                                 
‘maybe                                                
men don’t mind                                  
the hair on her thighs                          
because it seems like an extension      
of the hair on her head’                     
                    
            and                                                                       
                       
‘I like the hair on her thighs                
because I am half wild’                      

and                                                            
  
‘It may not be appropriate                 
for me to be naked here                    
I should probably go back                  
into the ruins’                                   

And so he says to her

“I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to be naked here 
I should probably go back into the ruins”

She smiles kindly and unconcerned


Aiks' Anger


…driving along a familiar           moonlit               
bay in the Hawaiian night                 
The water is wave-less         luminous  
          a dark      pattern of shadowy 
          coral beneath the surface  
             A tangle of branches overreaches the road  
            and a web of roots    curls out from the edge
            into the water   The road
                   is barely above the surface of the bay
  
                  Old Mercedes waddles around the curves
   its outer wheels slipping into water 
Soon    the makai side is floating    and
Aiks struggles             
to bring it back onto the road…
…Pahn is swimming beneath the car                    
pushing up                
                                          against the undercarriage
                 
Looking up               
he sees Aiks               
peering back at him                 
                     
       Pahn tries to come up for air                                         
but Aiks holds him under                     
smiling    maliciously                              


A Spell


…with scissors now 
 the thin      crazy woman       
follows Pahn and Eeunks
downstairs 
her straight      black
hair flailing her pale skin
as she slashes ineffectually about  
Pahn keeps Eeunks behind him
as he faces the woman down  
He sees her face soften    as he meets her eyes
and her movement slows                
he catches her right wrist first                        
and then her left                 
and shakes the weapons from her hands                   

He is swelled
with a sense of confidence
and victory
                     and with this comes
an incipient lust                                  
He notes to himself
that if it were a man whom he had disarmed
he would be thinking only of his own further safety 
but she is not a man    and as her threat subsides
his desire surges 
He tells Eeunks to go upstairs                                 
as if for her safety
 and leads this dark-eyed woman to the bedroom…

…Pahn is lying down beside her   half asleep 
She is sitting up 
She lies back murmuring     into the pillow 
staring at the ceiling 
Pahn rises a little   leans over and looks at her face 
Her features are mild  
her eyebrows thin and black 
He closes his eyes
 nuzzles into her shirt
and finds bare skin                  
He thinks it is the skin below her breast
 
Though his eyes are closed                                       
and his face is against her flesh                             
he can see her lying on the bed 
He can see
her body change as he kisses her skin  
the way her lungs fill
     in short subtle gasps     and
    deflate in sighs            and
her arms melt away
         at her sides      
her thighs    and stomach tighten    slightly

and at the same time
his arms
       are scooping under her back
and his heart                                                     
is filling    like a lake in the rain
after a long drought 
here in half-light                             
in half-sleep                             

then Eeunks and Aiks come in the open door
to ask him what they are to do—

Aiks does not appear worried

Pahn wonders even if the dark-eyed woman is Aiks in
 another form

 but Eeunks looks a little concerned—
Pahn sends them away

but he has been awakened now    and the desire
 is broken 
and though he still has hopes
he doubts
that the moment can be retrieved


ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS


Some of these poems originally appeared in the following publications

Avocet
Dream International Quarterly
mojo risin'
The Muse Apprentice Guild (The MAG)
Transfer

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