Athehna's Sorrow
.
............................Looking across
the isolines.....................................
of elevation...................
the representation...................
....of steepness
on a flat sheet.................................
.....................Pahn sees
a young............................
the isolines.....................................
of elevation...................
the representation...................
....of steepness
on a flat sheet.................................
.....................Pahn sees
a young............................
and amber.... woman.........
walking...................................
climbing..................
into an ascending
valley...........
of green .....
......She is
the wandering off of a loved one.......
a member........................
of the family....
.............a child............a wife...........a sister
peripheral..........................................
in her representational form
..............................................ephemeral
going........................................
into that topographical wilderness.............
where Pahn used to live.....................
…
Panicked..........................................
he leaves the house of his marriage
Searching..............................
................the hometown streets...for familial scents
finding only the smooth.............
and comfortable...ride
......................of a solitary vehicle
He begins..................................
........to accept his losses
and drive........
taking the ways..................
that lead.................
to industry .........
…
In the warren
...........................of work
he has passed the scale...........................
stepped over........................
the lip of the creek’s bank
to sit...............................
with the boulders
and vegetation
..........as the comrades pass
Here
on the closeness................
of damp soil...........
Athehna walks up behind him..............
stooping.....................
.....to touch his shoulder
and leaning........................
..............her hair into a curtain
..............................................beside him
He is sad now...........................
passing his invitation to her
hoping.........................
for a new goddess
trying to bring her into......
...the hollow of his lap
to swallow her
..................................that she may help digest the uneasiness
But as he relays.....................
the detachment
.....that left him open
she begins to retract...............
into her own violent......
................birth
............and damp cheeked
she delivers words................
of imminent..............
................departure
…
In a small.......................................
and wooden...corner.................
a pilot.................................................
is collecting his gear........................
ropes..........................
pitons .........................
chalks .........................
It is someone else’s wife
.........that is lost now
...........someone else’s daughter
Pahn tells the pilot........................................
that in the draw ..........................
where she has gone
there is no solid stone ......................
no cracks .................
......that will hold a spike
it heads....................
..............in a steepening wall
...................................................of crumbling sandstone
...................................................like the curl
.............................................................of a wave
there is no promise there
no commitment
But he is resigned to try...................................
because he is older and has no one .............
...................................He is a martyr now
...........................having given up
..........on finding love
for himself............
walking...................................
climbing..................
into an ascending
valley...........
of green .....
......She is
the wandering off of a loved one.......
a member........................
of the family....
.............a child............a wife...........a sister
peripheral..........................................
in her representational form
..............................................ephemeral
going........................................
into that topographical wilderness.............
where Pahn used to live.....................
…
Panicked..........................................
he leaves the house of his marriage
Searching..............................
................the hometown streets...for familial scents
finding only the smooth.............
and comfortable...ride
......................of a solitary vehicle
He begins..................................
........to accept his losses
and drive........
taking the ways..................
that lead.................
to industry .........
…
In the warren
...........................of work
he has passed the scale...........................
stepped over........................
the lip of the creek’s bank
to sit...............................
with the boulders
and vegetation
..........as the comrades pass
Here
on the closeness................
of damp soil...........
Athehna walks up behind him..............
stooping.....................
.....to touch his shoulder
and leaning........................
..............her hair into a curtain
..............................................beside him
He is sad now...........................
passing his invitation to her
hoping.........................
for a new goddess
trying to bring her into......
...the hollow of his lap
to swallow her
..................................that she may help digest the uneasiness
But as he relays.....................
the detachment
.....that left him open
she begins to retract...............
into her own violent......
................birth
............and damp cheeked
she delivers words................
of imminent..............
................departure
…
In a small.......................................
and wooden...corner.................
a pilot.................................................
is collecting his gear........................
ropes..........................
pitons .........................
chalks .........................
It is someone else’s wife
.........that is lost now
...........someone else’s daughter
Pahn tells the pilot........................................
that in the draw ..........................
where she has gone
there is no solid stone ......................
no cracks .................
......that will hold a spike
it heads....................
..............in a steepening wall
...................................................of crumbling sandstone
...................................................like the curl
.............................................................of a wave
there is no promise there
no commitment
But he is resigned to try...................................
because he is older and has no one .............
...................................He is a martyr now
...........................having given up
..........on finding love
for himself............
He spends his days............................................
flying into the wild..................
..trying hopelessly
to rescue
the lost girl................
the lost girl................
.
.
Waves at a River-mouth
Going down river
half submerged
in a
Viking
long
boat
with
Aiks
and
Daphnis
and
other travelers
in the corrugated
torrents
thick
warm
rain
salt
They rush
uncontrolled
limp
purposeful
resigned
into the meeting waves
like her heaving breast
aware
of the possibility of upset
sinking
into her drenching
He
is momentarily unconcerned
by the overwhelming
But
beyond the surf
in the
open ocean
under his own power again
he
panics
sensing Daphnis
pulled away
horrified
to
face suddenly
this unbearable
loss
He
leaps
with
fatherly
dolphin strength
to retrieve him
and
join him
to his
mother again
Daphnis
is strong enough
to
swim by himself But not
old
enough to navigate
Now they
sit
Aiks Daphnis and Pahn
in the
shoaled relief
with
uneasiness
separated
from the shore
picnicking
on the course
unsorted
bar
of familiarity
from
deluge
tempest
depth
to
shallows
A Stop in His Mother's Ancestral Homeland
.
…reclining.....................
in an ocean liner
eyes closed
.................floating
..................................almost weightless
.uneasily trusting
he knows
they are safely cruising
in the open ocean
Letting down his guard
talking to Aiks
belittling his fears
he feels the boat turn
abruptly..........................
with urgency...........
and moments of lost faith......................
..................come in beats
Rising..............................
and coming to the deck
they disembark...........................
to a village resort in a bay
The inlet’s end...........................
has but a week stream coming
from a short canyon
Still...Pahn has Aiks wait
while he explores
As expected.....................
it is only........broken...................
.........crumbling
.............sandstone
in steep
.................and discontinuous walls
.................with patches of brush
in an ocean liner
eyes closed
.................floating
..................................almost weightless
.uneasily trusting
he knows
they are safely cruising
in the open ocean
Letting down his guard
talking to Aiks
belittling his fears
he feels the boat turn
abruptly..........................
with urgency...........
and moments of lost faith......................
..................come in beats
Rising..............................
and coming to the deck
they disembark...........................
to a village resort in a bay
The inlet’s end...........................
has but a week stream coming
from a short canyon
Still...Pahn has Aiks wait
while he explores
As expected.....................
it is only........broken...................
.........crumbling
.............sandstone
in steep
.................and discontinuous walls
.................with patches of brush
and short falls
.
.
Wholesome
.
Having left a chamber of fabric
.........................................sheltered light
draped....................
........in subtle anticipation
moving through.........................
the doors
.........................of private thought
.....................................into a morning bathroom
.............................bright leaves
and shadow
through a window
...........................in view
..................his long dark thing
............................................capped
...........................................with its mushroom head
...........................................continuous
...........................................from the
...........................................throat down
...........................................through
...........................................the heart
...........................................to the point
...........................................of joy
...........................................where it
...........................................angles out
...........................................hopefully
...........................................into the
...........................................moist air
..........................................nearing
...........................................evaporation
he washes
................its stem
.............with casual
reverence
......preparing for the mouth of love
.........................................sheltered light
draped....................
........in subtle anticipation
moving through.........................
the doors
.........................of private thought
.....................................into a morning bathroom
.............................bright leaves
and shadow
through a window
...........................in view
..................his long dark thing
............................................capped
...........................................with its mushroom head
...........................................continuous
...........................................from the
...........................................throat down
...........................................through
...........................................the heart
...........................................to the point
...........................................of joy
...........................................where it
...........................................angles out
...........................................hopefully
...........................................into the
...........................................moist air
..........................................nearing
...........................................evaporation
he washes
................its stem
.............with casual
reverence
......preparing for the mouth of love
.
.
Resting
.
Lying down...........................................
on the soft afternoon......................
of May heat...in a familiar hollow
of crushed grass and twigs
where he often sleeps
the sun behind his arm
............................and a fetid odor from the drying creek
.........moving up the bank
his cares
drift into sleep
....................................scattered
...........................around a bright room
Speaking lightly................
with Eeunks...........
standing behind him
he gathers them up (his cares)
as calmly spring.......
........................slides into summer
packing them..............
......into brown suitcases
...........to get them out of the way
sending them off..........
..........................................somewhere
on the soft afternoon......................
of May heat...in a familiar hollow
of crushed grass and twigs
where he often sleeps
the sun behind his arm
............................and a fetid odor from the drying creek
.........moving up the bank
his cares
drift into sleep
....................................scattered
...........................around a bright room
Speaking lightly................
with Eeunks...........
standing behind him
he gathers them up (his cares)
as calmly spring.......
........................slides into summer
packing them..............
......into brown suitcases
...........to get them out of the way
sending them off..........
..........................................somewhere
.
.
The Women's Neighborhood
.
…a mixed assemblage
of custom houses
various ages
He sees the house
like two
oversized fuselages
of jets
at right angles
How did he
of custom houses
various ages
He sees the house
like two
oversized fuselages
of jets
at right angles
How did he
feel what he was thinking?
.
.
A Dream After Restraint
.
in a loose dress
Athehna leans down
letting her gown
billow out
to offer
her left breast
to Pahn’s hand
reaching under
her cotton fabric
he feels the integrity
of its shape
the weight of it
the hardness
of her nipple a scenario
beyond him
a challenge
and concession
…
it is not the soft gift
he had imagined
it is strange
wild
and self contained
like the independence
of a child
who has raised herself
Athehna leans down
letting her gown
billow out
to offer
her left breast
to Pahn’s hand
reaching under
her cotton fabric
he feels the integrity
of its shape
the weight of it
the hardness
of her nipple a scenario
beyond him
a challenge
and concession
…
it is not the soft gift
he had imagined
it is strange
wild
and self contained
like the independence
of a child
who has raised herself
.
.
A Dark Shower of Forest Water
.
…in a black...three-sided cell
dew...covers the concrete walls.....and dim water falls
drenching.....the pale and luminous......naked body
of Ahnkahmna........
as she sits.....over the drain
crying
inconsolably............Pahn
under her......soft............ebony eyebrows
and soaked....dusk-shadow..hair....
comes.......out of her forest
into............her shower...........and kneels down
beside her.....sending.......his bare arms
around her......wet...shoulders
holding..........closely
to the rain
dew...covers the concrete walls.....and dim water falls
drenching.....the pale and luminous......naked body
of Ahnkahmna........
as she sits.....over the drain
crying
inconsolably............Pahn
under her......soft............ebony eyebrows
and soaked....dusk-shadow..hair....
comes.......out of her forest
into............her shower...........and kneels down
beside her.....sending.......his bare arms
around her......wet...shoulders
holding..........closely
to the rain
.
.
The Sea Worms
He is standing on the beach
A young woman scientist
like a sister
is down the shore
A wave gathers
cup-shaped
swelling only where he is
and pouncing on
only him
She comments on his
special-ness
and says something about
a storm generating waves…
…Now
they are in Antarctica—
an interpretive site
—and he sees the
two great ranks of swells
two great walls of water
one from the Pacific
one from the Atlantic
crashing together
in a turbulence
He is in her body
rising into the sunset clouds
seeing the mist through her
camera
watching
as it closes in
Then
coming back
to the interpretive outpost there is
a notice on the wall
asking
that the other family
please
stop licking the sea worms
Egairia's Web
.
…browsing the net.......................................................................
Pahn comes upon a photograph
of Egairia
.......................................sitting with shades on
.......................................in a sling chair
her legs crossed....and reading
His perspective changes
.......................................and he comes to her with his children
She sits in her chair
by her tubular
............................segmented
glass house
a warm
............................gentle sea
...................................................................lapping all around her
She ignores Pahn..............................................
He wants to touch her..................................
but can’t touch her......because
..................................she does not look at him through the net
So he hugs his children
....................instead...............cavorting with them in the
........................................................salty tepid murk of health
........................................................and fertility that
...........................................................................surrounds her page
He sends her an e-mail.................................................................
to which
.....................................................she responds unexpectedly
........................................friendly
........................................caring
and he remembers
............................suddenly
that she has sent an e-mail before
.........................................................................which he read and
forgot
.........................and now
going back and finding it
he sees she was
.........................sweet.............contented
Pahn comes upon a photograph
of Egairia
.......................................sitting with shades on
.......................................in a sling chair
her legs crossed....and reading
His perspective changes
.......................................and he comes to her with his children
She sits in her chair
by her tubular
............................segmented
glass house
a warm
............................gentle sea
...................................................................lapping all around her
She ignores Pahn..............................................
He wants to touch her..................................
but can’t touch her......because
..................................she does not look at him through the net
So he hugs his children
....................instead...............cavorting with them in the
........................................................salty tepid murk of health
........................................................and fertility that
...........................................................................surrounds her page
He sends her an e-mail.................................................................
to which
.....................................................she responds unexpectedly
........................................friendly
........................................caring
and he remembers
............................suddenly
that she has sent an e-mail before
.........................................................................which he read and
forgot
.........................and now
going back and finding it
he sees she was
.........................sweet.............contented
.
.
Captivity
.
…Pahn has caught a fish
..........................................................................as long as a small
..........................................................................as long as a small
............................................................. child
a dark olive
.............out of a vague
.............................................................................wild periphery
and brought it back..................
to a deep ditch
to store
It lies quiet
at the bottom................................................................................
while Pahn wanders........................................
in consultations......................
The ditch quickly dries
.....................................................and the fish disappears
A young boy tells Pahn.............................................
it is buried.......................................................
in the mud..................................................
Carefully........................................................
Pahn digs with his hands...........................
to uncover
its translucence—
green..................
like a bony stream
encased in clear scales—
and lifts it................................
out of its bed
a squirming....legless
.......................................object of love
.......................................and care
.................................................................and carries it
......................................concerned
..................................................to the home
.................he has made for it
of concrete......and stone.............
but.......when he lets it............into the water............
...................................................it swims ............listless
..............in a world.......too.......bright..................a pond
too warm
he wonders
...............................................................where it will migrate
..................................................................with no great stream?
in the stare...................................
of those viewers
......................the glare
...................................of that light
He wishes
.............he had left it
...............................................................................in its place of
a dark olive
.............out of a vague
.............................................................................wild periphery
and brought it back..................
to a deep ditch
to store
It lies quiet
at the bottom................................................................................
while Pahn wanders........................................
in consultations......................
The ditch quickly dries
.....................................................and the fish disappears
A young boy tells Pahn.............................................
it is buried.......................................................
in the mud..................................................
Carefully........................................................
Pahn digs with his hands...........................
to uncover
its translucence—
green..................
like a bony stream
encased in clear scales—
and lifts it................................
out of its bed
a squirming....legless
.......................................object of love
.......................................and care
.................................................................and carries it
......................................concerned
..................................................to the home
.................he has made for it
of concrete......and stone.............
but.......when he lets it............into the water............
...................................................it swims ............listless
..............in a world.......too.......bright..................a pond
too warm
he wonders
...............................................................where it will migrate
..................................................................with no great stream?
in the stare...................................
of those viewers
......................the glare
...................................of that light
He wishes
.............he had left it
...............................................................................in its place of
...............................................................................obscurity
where it came
....................................................as it went
but he was too lonely
to walk..................away...........
and too bound........................................................
to swim off...........................................................................................
where it came
....................................................as it went
but he was too lonely
to walk..................away...........
and too bound........................................................
to swim off...........................................................................................
.
.
in Case You are Wondering
.
the storyteller would like you to know
At first Egairia was a green-eyed woman
of fresh water...and then she was a fish.......and that fish
At first Egairia was a green-eyed woman
of fresh water...and then she was a fish.......and that fish
came from the world of dreams.......and Pahn saw
that it was a beautiful thing .....and he wanted to show
to Egairia....the beauty that had come of her ..........but he
to Egairia....the beauty that had come of her ..........but he
felt that she was not able
to see it...............................................................
.............................so then he wanted to show it to the world
to see it...............................................................
.............................so then he wanted to show it to the world
.
.
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