Part 6: AWASH

The Deity of Calm Waters
Phoebe Ann
A Partial Thaw
A Talk
A Conversation
Athehna (invocation)
Empath
Pseudo Djuturna
The Body of Charro's Daughter
Eithnia (invocation)
An Old Girlfriend
Salmon
Poems
Arundo Donax
Shahn
Channels
The Water Temple
Monument
What is Left of Her
Pilot
At a Loss
Irrigation
Tsunami
Something in Common
Into Distance
The Next Night
The Appearance of Junipera
Momentary Lover
Daphnis' Father
Crossing the River
Tending an Oread
The Backyard Bedroom
The Sand Hills of Aiks
Padlock
Looking for Nests
Along the Russian River
More Repairs
In a Labyrinthine House
A Love Nest
The White House
A Grasp of Words
.

The Deity of Calm Waters

.…on a steep slope Pahn has stopped
for lunch

                               April grassy
                    still

It is a picnic with
his family
They wander   about

              the incline    talking of
              family matters

Going to the barbecue
for hamburgers            Daphnis climbs up into the rocks

                                        as is his inclination
                        and Pahn follows him to catch
            him if he falls

But Pahn keeps climbing up

                                                                to the University…

…and down again                                                     
past picnic and family                  down
to the river          in the canyon

He comes out of the woods

            onto a trestle   and crossing
              to the shade   he climbs
           over the creosote
            timbers   down
into the river                     

He swims underwater

his feet crossed like

                                        an otter   upstream in the clear light

While sitting on the silty bank
Djuturna
her chin in her hand smiles
her unending smile and

Pahn finds himself lying beneath her
her knees on either side
of his waist     swishing

             her vulva against him
            to erect his sex

and it rises      when
he holds her face

              and her shoulders
in his hands…

…Again         he is driving with Aiks
The brakes are not adequate
he wonders how such a large vehicle
could have been designed unable
to stop its own momentum

She tells him he must turn right
and he slows down just enough
to avoid rolling over

She says he must turn left now
but there is a line of cars
in the left turn lane

He doesn’t see how
he will be able

                           to stop the car in time

The brakes are only reins of leather
that require all his strength
           to stop before they crash…
.
.

Phoebe Ann (A Quiet Simple Person)



With his son...Daphnis
casting through the trees
into dark and murky water

taking the line from him
to un-stick it from the bottom
Pahn pulls up a large object
that looks like a rock
but is too light to be stone

It must be Styrofoam
that has been stained
to the core
by the mud
of all these years
of lying on the bottom

A woman across the lake
single
and childless
not distracted by love
focused
professional
is quietly doing well            She walks by

                                           passing out of sight

Pahn takes the tackle
baiting the grapnel hook
with Feta cheese

Wading into the water         A teenage girl comes by
to cast further                        walking across the water

                                                       greeting in French
he swims back                                                 
to the deeper end                      A second comes by

                                                          speaking French
and casts his line                        with a few Spanish words
 

                                                  Pahn asks her if she is American
There are two large                 and she says “yes”
beautiful                                          (Her mix of languages
dark fish                                          gave her away)
circling around Pahn                                                        

One of them strikes the bait                                           
and he yanks the line                                           
to settle the hook                                          

He doesn’t see at first      Pahn is looking for something
where he has hooked it                                                        
but when he takes it            Egairia as a little girl
to show his family                  is walking around him
his wife (Aiks) asks him       Eendekoi as a little boy
why he had to catch it             is walking around him too

And when he asks                   The children are running
if he should let it go                  back      and forth
she says                                                   
that having                       Pahn is rummaging around
caught it                                   in a shoe box
damaged it                         for a present
they should eat it              for Egairia

                                          and Eendekoi
And then he sees                                 
that the hook has torn off                                  
one of its gills                  among the toy cars
showing its many tiny bones  harmonicas
and the tiny heart inside            skeletons

                                                             plastic hearts
                                                               and livers and lungs
 

                                                   Finally he looks down
                                                   and sees at his side
                                                 a little girl
                           with a rifle
on her shoulder—

Annie Oakley
as a child

                  and he thinks

this is the perfect gift
                                                 for them
.
.

A Partial Thaw

.
…Pahn is driving a pickup   turning into
the cul-de-sac of                                 
the damp spring in                     
the mid-century wealthy neighborhood
followed by                              
a full truck of lumber    

Pahn sees                                                                   
the house of                                                  
his nice neighbors                           
where he has come to work   dismounting  
onto the brick drive    Those nice neighbors
come out of the house       to
show him                                                   
the problem—rotting headers
of squandered redwood  and thin gray balusters
of a fence
 

                without support

Pahn pulls out the disintegration
with a mattock   and moves
into the back yard
 

               Looking into the far areas of the property
he sees many Mexican people                       
wearing clean   dark   clothing

men and women working

                   and socializing
in the semblance of a community

Past                                                           
the warm people

                   the women’s long hair
       and   the men’s   respect for him
he comes to a pit of construction   and
walks down into it   relaying   instructions

                                                     in Spanish—
his social position wavering with his accent
They are shoveling                              
white powder onto a ramp          
covered with grape pomace

                                    Pahn yells
to Mehtztlee   to try to keep the powder
out of the pit…

…Paddling a boat…

…walking away into a bathroom
Pahn is followed                                         
by a thin young woman
like a daughter
or a lover..with straight black hair
that carries the warmth
of love     and
smooth dark arms   that
hold acceptance      and
she sits on Pahn’s lap in a stall 

 Pahn is thinking of the woman’s place
in her community and how it is affected by
her behavior and how she has been generous
to come in
to him
and he senses that he has acquired the strength of her
health and allure

            and it excites him
 Outside they hear the men   debating
as to whether Pahn is a man
(a Mexican)     or not
They really can’t tell                                                    
but what they mean
has nothing to do
with his gender

                                       A man
in the next stall

                     looks through the cracks
and seeing Pahn’s beard
he calls out to the others
that Pahn is a man

As they quiz the man

                                  on how he can tell
                               and he explains about the beard
the woman gets up from Pahn’s lap
and steps outside    to tell them
that Pahn
is indeed

                    very much
a man

she could feel his penis harden beneath her

and they are convinced
because they figure

                 that she would know better
     than anyone   now



Pahn is climbing a cascade                                     

                 on an island
                                          in a large lake
with fallen logs for bridges

He makes his way further

               up a granite monument
on a trail
                      made of log ladders
                                        with pictures of famous
American Indians
 

                                each representing an extant tribe
and
                     when he reaches the top
looking back over the lake

                                                  he walks into the air
to discuss policy

                       with the people in charge
 

                         on the subject of immigration

and because   their policy will mean
that the smaller tribes

                  will be lost in the multitudes
he goes in anger and defiance
to remove their pictures

                           and mourn the loss of their history
                                and their faces which he had found
beautiful
and to mourn as well

                           the un-crowded time when they
lived…

…Pahn says to himself
“It was easy for us to climb the cascade
           but it is not so easy to build a road
back down”          

and then to the photographs he says
        “We don’t have to take the same path
as long as it works
                  as long as we get there”
but they are stymied...and lost

Looking back
Pahn sees a blond little girl                                 

Like Annie Oakley as a child
 

                     frozen into the granite screen
And he keeps her in mind
as he leaves the island 

       to fill drums with gasoline
for the construction
His hand                                                          
moves over the monitor
gliding over the lake
and he sees how pleasant   and relaxed
his neighbors are   and how warm

             and down to earth   are his co-workers
and he wants

to free the blond little girl
with braids now
from her place in the monument
 

                                              Moving
through the air above the boat
then reaching his destination    his hand
clicks on her icon    and
she comes to life     

                                                         He is glad
like he has never felt gladness before
because she is free to feel these people—
the ones
who have been freed before her—to feel
their hands   and arms   And
he can imagine them                                          
reaching inside of him
to hold his vital organs
as he is opened             
and the tightness
in his chest


                drains
away
.
.

A Talk

.
On a large boat
 

            in a clean room
 

                    with pleasant furnishings
                      wooden
                  and dark
he talks to the small
compact

          professional
woman
who is safe
and available
with even smile
and sympathetic words

until

it is time to walk away

                     into the outer room
                       which is larger

There is                                  
and has been always
on this vessel

an oppressive                                                         
wall                                                                              
to his left                                                                 

Now

                  with unaccustomed strength

his shoulders                                       

                                       and expanding thought
swing out

pushing
 

                        heavily            away the wall
as if it were made
of balsa

There is a vague                                                   
and distant fear
 

                     that he needs
the sides

to keep from drowning
but he wants
at least

the whole boat
.
.

A Conversation

.
In the distance
in the background
in silence
like a memory standing
by the bottles
filling with wine
Egairia
is wearing a poem
for safety

a cage of protective words

At the end of the day
Leenaiyos
lets her take off
her shield

and Pahn meets her
beneath the barrel trees

where
only the vulnerable words
in columns
like ribs
cover her breast
.
.

Athehna

.
                         Blue wash              fantasy
of shells                through the violence
 

             of ancestry      a pale
                                                       and pinkish skin
now

armored silver                                             
in her strands                   
coated                                                          
piercing                                
watching over   with force     and judgment
the thin            
shiny

                  fish

and we are                                                  
glancing against                        
sheathing                       

the watery           
flesh                                           
still
vulnerable                                             
pearl                                                                       
.
.

Empath

.
…called to the back yard

     going around the side
                          of the house
                                       of his childhood
Pahn sees Athehna                                    
with Yaohwa
and stops to listen to them               

They are speaking

                                 of ordinary things
                                in ordinary language
                       but in the light   of the subconscious
clearly discernable
they are exchanging information

                                                and emotion
                                                   non-verbally

Pahn is feeling left out                                
having missed already
the gossip
and now watching Yaohwa
by chance

                        and by intuition
                                feeling Athehna
Pahn is genuinely jealous                           

He listens in the knowledge                             
that he has this same               
communicative sense
and gathers from the air

                        what is happening to her

Yaohwa leaves

And Pahn takes her aside to ask

                            to be sure

“Are you saying
That you are pregnant?”

She nods                                                 
and the two of them go inside

He speaks to her      for a while                    
trying to determine                 
if he should stay for her
or if she’d rather he left

He can barely feel their separateness
in the open room
but in the passing moments                       
they find a time to pull their minds

                                                                   apart…

…and Pahn is outside again

Ahbnoba comes                                                        
and asks Pahn to turn off the sprinklers
so that her guests                             
will not get wet                      

Pahn goes around front                                  
with Eeunks and Daphnis
to show them how it is done

He is perplexed                                                
that Yaohwa is running sprinklers
in the winter

Trying the first valve
The water comes on around him              

and he is soaked
…                         
.
.

Pseudo Djuturna

.
…strolling thirstily
                      a University corridor
                     like an airport hallway
        looking for a fountain
finding water

                       in the basin
                                         of a potted plant

                                            in someone else’s cup

Coming to a lobby
                 like the reception area
                  of a private clinic
Pahn sees two students                                       

Across the room                                                   
there appears to be                         
a drinking fountain                     

but approaching it                                        
Pahn sees that it is    only ornamental               
with re-circulating water
not safe to drink

He stops to talk to the students                                      
because he is lonely for them                    

He tells them he is dying                                             

                   of thirst

One of them is blond                                                            
wearing brown and beige                  
and she smiles broader than belief                       
pulling a can of soda                        
from her net   bag              
saying                                                  

“Here

                              You can have this”

Pahn is reluctant                                                         
because he feels like he is mooching            
and he is afraid                                              
that soda will not slake his thirst

But he accepts it from her                                   
in shyness
drinking a long draught

        because he is so thirsty
and the taste is good—                              

                                         not as sweet as he expected
                                       the fizz not as coarse

Looking up                     
the other woman                                         
who is wearing              
the color of negation
is talking to him

and as she speaks                                    
her clothes become navy

                     and her hair lightens to brown

She is turning into Djuturna                                

He walks with her                                                     

with her calming blue eyes
suggesting water
and her penetrating smile
that runs down his throat
massaging                
                       the tension
from his chest

She tells him    she has a boyfriend                              
but that it’s all right                         

and they go to her dorm
to lie on her bed

                         with the boyfriend watching
                                               in the background

Lying on top of her

                      his arms under her shoulders
                            and his hands around her face
Pahn is nearly inside her                            
when she says
 

                      she is sorry but they can’t

because
she has forgotten her                         

                          Polypropylphenolene
that she takes                         

                                 to avoid pregnancy
or disease
.
.

The Body of Charro's Daughter

.
In Hawaii at the beach    behind a house
that he was told    is Charro’s
Pahn saw a young woman                           
with a compact    and curvy body

She was with a man                                        

                              undoubtedly her husband
who had speared a big fish    and
was showing it to their son

He had classic    Mediterranean good looks
the tan of leisure                                     
the physique                             
of well regulated sport

Pahn couldn’t help wondering                        

      how foreign the woman’s world might seem
if he could know it                     

how she spent her time                                
did she like to cook?                           

           did her mother approve of her husband?
how did she meet him?                     

                     and could she relate to someone like Pahn?


By the dunes

                                      thinking about a movie
                                seeing two fugitives
Michael Caine and Sydney Poitier

                            running into a field
                                joined by a Russian
                       and a tall man
                              their pursuers close behind
 

                     The Russian shoots the tall man  
            then tells himself
                         to slow and confuse

while Pahn runs toward the river    
diving in                                                                 

The river bends

                                           around the head of the hemisphere
                           into an Italian bay

Pahn climbs out of the water

          He can smell the mud flats
and Italian fishing boats are speeding

                                                  to the open water

Walking up the bright sand                                    
to an old and sun-bleached hotel
of Carmel sandstone
Pahn finds a thin woman                            
wearing a scarf skirt                    
speaking English

            in the middle of giving a tour
                                    alone    to herself

She tells of the last owners
of how they put clear glass
in the windows

               because the guests wanted to see the view
 Pahn tries to imagine what was in the windows before                                                           he notices
that the window frames are metal
and very rusted

                     One is missing

He asks her    when they were installed

                Thinking it must have been the thirties
                     when such windows were popular

She walks toward the water
past women in bikinis
climbs into a kayak
paddles around

                                     for a few minutes in the bay
and returns with a bag of tiny biscuits
which she has baked

                                                on the water

She tosses them to Pahn

                                             one at a time
as he tries to catch them

                                            in his mouth

He is hungry    for her    and the biscuits
So she offers him panini

                                               of whole wheat bread
                                      and Prociutto
                                         with cheese 
Pahn thinks to himself that prociutto is left over
from a time when there was no refrigeration




Pahn is in coastal California
someplace like Davenport
with Aiks, Eeunks and Daphnis

They are staying in a 19th century hotel
in the center of town
dragging up their luggage
checking out the room

         eating in the restaurant  
 

    Leaving    and returning       to the restaurant
 

                                they find the hostess topless
 

                                   and the waitress naked

Looking at the                 waitress

                                 Pahn expects to be excited
but she seems unfriendly

                                  and he finds no arousal

But the                 hostess                                       
who is in the body of Charro’s daughter
calls Pahn into an empty room                        
and hugs him

At this point

           a tall middle aged man
                                with a cowboy hat and plaid shirt
                                                          his neck
                            red and wrinkled
    comes into the room
    admonishing Pahn
                            in a vaguely threatening manner

But Pahn ignores him                                      
being too happy

                                in the arms of the hostess
             to be distracted
.
.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS


Some of these poems originally appeared in the following publications

Avocet
Dream International Quarterly
mojo risin'
The Muse Apprentice Guild (The MAG)
Transfer

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