…walking in late
to an unfamiliar class
nervous
interested
More students come
the ones who know why
they are there
some standing
others sitting
wearing faded earth- tones
of brown and green
They are tall
with long hair
and talk listen
with animation
There is a woman Pahn
notices
with a long French-braid
thick blond
She is compact
strong wholesome
beautiful
smoking a pipe
Pahn expects
that she will be
reprimanded for smoking
but the professor
gets out a pipe for himself
and the conversation goes
to a demonstration
of
project-in-the-making
…
Outside
dogs are fighting
in the dark
on the lawn
One of them is wounded
One of them is larger
One of them is trying
to help Pahn’s
family
Pahn splits up the fight
and takes the helping-dog
back to the hotel…
…Off of the ocean comes a
wave
four stories high
Swept to the top
Pahn and his family
surf
stoked
but afraid of being
smashed
on the dry ground
at its base
It doubles
There are screams
of roller-coaster
fear-fun as they
are carried
around
the building
down
a winding path
at high velocity…
…Suddenly
they are standing in front
of an apartment
where secure
single women would have lived
in the late nineteen-forties
…
Pahn wakes up
and falls asleep
again
…
They have gotten a room
at the end of a corridor
in an expensive hotel
in Hawaii
They are taking showers
It is very dark
The kids are playing
The covers of sleep
are scattered on the floor
in the bath…
…In a parking lot
Phaithohn and Toor are
looking at drawings
Pahn is perplexed
The drawings are gothic
interiors
He asks them where they are for
They invite him into the
building nearby
The building is large
and modern
plain and gypsum
acoustic-tiled
painted a yellow that turns
to orange in certain
light
Pahn asks if the gothic blocks
are made of Styrofoam
and could be glued
Pahn suggests
they would be better a different color
but Phaithohn and Toor don’t listen to Pahn
The room is filled with guests
young
wealthy
beautiful women
and invisible men
Pahn
gathers his things
and his family
and leaves
Walking across the parking lot
he loses something
Now something is wrong
They go back to the hotel…
…In the room Walking past
Pahn undresses the escalators
for a shower looking down one flight
that he feels he needs he sees O.J.
because coming up
he has gotten dirty
Aiks dated O.J. years ago
and now that O.J. is a
killer
Aiks and Pahn are afraid of
him
Naked Aiks and
O.J. are arguing
in the bathroom in the parking lot
he hears the shower
already running
remembering O.J. follows Pahn
and Aiks
that it is past
checkout into their
new room
and the maids might
come he is carrying
and it may be a hunting knife
someone else’s room now he comes toward Pahn
Pahn thinks
Pahn goes back he won’t fight O.J.
into the bedroom but He doesn’t
know
still dark what O.J. has in mind
and messy Pahn thinks
looking at the covers he couldn’t hope to win
hearing snoring
but O.J. is coming toward him
then coughing and there is no
escape
and seeing someone awaken so he pulls out his
Pahn tries frantically pocket knife
to get his pants on O.J. slashes at him
knowing it’s too late hits his elbow
as a man sits up against the wall
and looks at him dropping his blade
Now
O.J. has a paring knife
Pahn has grabbed his right arm
Pahn thinks
he can stab
O.J. now as he is thinking this
but he still doesn’t know
thin
if he would really kill him naked
American
he is afraid to kill shamanic men
he is afraid to hurt are coming
to press his advantage up the escalator
it is his nature to
forgive gathering
to compromise in the room
to fight with words standing
to fight with words standing
to understand nodding
commiserate silent
but
approval
O.J. is a killer
and other
He shouldn’t be free
holy men
He will kill again
from ancient cultures
if Pahn doesn’t stop him around the world
O.J. may kill Pahn are coming
to give
And now Pahn can kill—
their permission
he couldn’t before
but now he can
Pahn can see where O.J.s heart is
His left hand
is behind his back
and his right hand
Pahn is holding away
O.J looks like he doesn’t believe Pahn
like Pahn is not strong enough
but it isn’t so hard
to kill
the knife goes
easily
into O.J.’s expensive suit
between his ribs
into his chest
Pahn doesn’t know if it is enough
what he’s done
with such a small
weapon
O.J. clutches
a nail scissors
scratching it
into his own wrist
falling limp
Now
Pahn is sorry
and feels himself
starting to cry
because he didn’t want to kill him
though he didn’t want him to live Now the detectives
and Pahn feels as though have come
he
might never stop crying Pahn is wondering
because crying feels if they will
understand
so
good now and if
they will
put him in jail
give him a trial
But he thinks
Aiks
will bear witness
The detectives ignore Pahn
They are waiting for their staff
Pahn is getting board
He wants to go back
to the
clean
sunny hotel
where
he left his children
Pahn goes
to ask the chief—
a big man with
authority
of mixed ethnicity
of mixed ethnicity
and
deep hidden
emotion
Pahn takes a wrong turn
going into a private room
and
finding
a middle aged woman naked
in a redwood tub
looking at him
with surprise
and interest
He remembers
when he dreamed this before
not long ago
and feels that he knows now
for certain
that his dreams can be
prophetic…
…Walking
around that coastal town again
with its large blocks
of
parks
and
wide streets
he wonders if
he is still all right
still human
if they can still see him
will still
care
or if he will be invisible
again
and in
pain
searching
for Aiks
He is acknowledged
barely
by the citizens
He comes upon
a very dark
African-
American
wearing old-fashioned clothes
sitting with his son
who looks at Pahn
with hurt
and won’t speak to him
Pahn is carrying a bucket
and looks down into it
for something to give them Arriving
that they might want at the beach
but he has only small Pahn sees that the rain
plastic
dinosaurs that fell
in compost during the night
and they has
smoothed out
would not be interested the shore
erased
the
footprints
the
excavations
the mounds
Looking into the sand
at the
edge of the surf
Pahn sees a shadow
Pahn sees a shadow
and turning around
he sees
the
big man with authority
who understands now
how
Pahn feels
and nods
his acceptance
…
Strolling down the beach
with his children playing
Pahn hears shots
and
sees
at a distance
two men
with rifles
firing
three-inch shells
in
all directions
His old friend Rahbin comes by
ducking
saying
“Take cover”
Pahn
is not concerned
at first
but seeing them fire A child
in his direction running back
he crouches has gotten swept
behind a rock into the waves
Pahn is afraid
in a minute that she will
be carried away
the firing stops
because
it has happened before
so he runs into the water
and pulls her out
even though
she is
not his own
He has seen her
as a small
blurry figure
but now
pulled from the water
her visage clears
and she is beautiful
Pahn is glad
and humbled
that he has saved her
and wants her to live
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