Egairia

A dark blue                                                                             
wearing green skin                                              
that is green                                 
ivory               
threading through sand                    asleep          
entering           from murk     the browns of ground
unperceived                                                       
through the                                                                                   
deformations                                                     
subterranean                   
wearing water        draped with     skin                           
stippled                         under                   
fish                                                                                 
spotted enveloped                                         
waving              sand changing eyes   scattered         
        garments      discarding   sliding over     ivory
seasonal adolescence                                                               
breast
green                               
                                      surrounded
surrounded                                                     

visiting      night           Numa                                     

down                                                     

pool                                 


filtered         
shouting into streams          
 
               we are   here
we are       

rushing away                               

Physical Therapy

.

Momentarily                                                                 

disembodied                                                                 

floating                                                                 

through a hall                                                                

along the                                                                

walls of white                                                                 

and pediatric                                                                 

colors                                                                 
Pahn turns through a door into an expansive room of toys
gym apparatus                    medical devices
where he sees himself reclining         on a futon            
                and precipitates               into his body

comfortably                                 
    the cotton batting

                 beneath his bare skin
 
looking to the shelved

                 undersides of the counters
 
                 The nurses come and go     waiting     for

visitors                                                  
From work                                 
                    Egairia and Djuturna’s laughter

                                flows     into the room    gurgling

            and     surging
                     they follow                           offering

to the nurses 
                                           to help

Egairia
                       conscientious
                  and contained
                      kneels
               beside his thighs
                                     taking him in her hands
 
    Djuturna
                    smiling stands
        more timid
                               watching
 
                                       Egairia pulls back his skin
 
                                         holding him
                                   with unaccustomed care
                                         and he grows with the attention
wondering
                              where this absorption will lead him
 
               his engrossment
              becomes
                   unwieldy
                      leaning
             awkwardly about him
                  and Egairia
                   becomes uncertain
                      of her purpose

Unable to hold him                        
she rises smiling weakly

and recedes with Djuturna          

from the room

.

.

Damned if

.

Pahn   is       digging                                     
in             his     fields                   

He has                                            
                   a sense of the coming nymphs
with their husbands

Their damp forms ripple in

through the door
              of his family’s hostel

old and wooden     of the

craftsman school     dark

redwood   strongly

horizontal
Self-                    
consciously
     he follows
   them
       like a gosling
      carrying their imprint
     out
     into the winter     
 garden
 
     where groves of

     people are wandering     
 in the dusk
    between the houses
 
  a climate of friends
  and workers
  that lingers
as they regress inside

He walks around Djuturna
(on a couch) who would
                                embrace him if she were not
sitting with her spouse
                                 and young son

He walks over to Egairia whose                                              

husband is                                        
away and they
drift
                          into the yard

the      turned  soil
now   waffled
with snow

Beneath an arched arbor
of frozen rose
                     they lean together
                    turning aside
before touching lips

Walking closely
up the path
                   to the street
                         holding cuffs
they stop to graze collars

Stirring                                                                       
they remember working
                             and the days
                                               in the community
and their complacency               
blows off
                                        into the bed-sheets
hanging on a line

He stares into the coming day
wondering              
                    if he should avoid her
but he should not             

.

.

Her Lead

.Hiking together in the steep outer coast
                   Artemisia-covered hills
             of moist silver-
       green

the road is wide and umber
terracing the slope
                           as it is shunted aside
and
Egairia suggests they leave
                          the road     and go up over the hard
rocky     crest

Pahn pulls his grocery cart

rough and dragging
         up the broken
                   stony    ridge

Finding                                    
the other side           
far steeper

despairing to restrain
                    the cart down with him

Pahn lets go                            
 
                    that it rolls to the bottom
landing in a wet                     
ditch                                                               
 
                         He has doubts
about leaving it there
     but he is calmed
                  by Egairia’s lack
                                                      of concern

He follows                                        

her climbing the next ridge
   as she leads him
                         toward her house

…

Jumping into a chute                   

(stainless steel—
like a change maker)

they land               
                            easy in her kitchen
eating breakfast
and visiting her father—
                 a mild and encouraging
                                      incarnation of Pahn
He leaves them to their business
                                                                   going
about his chores 

and Pahn is comfortable            
in her place

…

After a time  

he remembers                               
               his people

and returns to the strength
 
                   the wheeled weight     of his

groceries

.

.

By Her Laboratory

.In a chair
seeing
Egairia
                        Pahn smiles

She
encouraged
             smiles back

Saying

“I wrote a poem
                         See what you think”

Happy                     

that she cares
                   he takes her words
behind the university                                            
                                       to read them on the lawn

…

There are five lines

                              The first speaks
                                                    of matching
 
                           The second is
                                                in Hawaiian
                                             No ka oi 
                                                       (nothing better)
 
                                     The third is a series
                                                of elements 
                                            Na K O..

                                      The fourth is a list   
                                                of syllables

                                                in English
 
                                       The last is about       
                                                        balancing wine

…

When she returns
                           for his opinion

he tells her

he likes her metaphor
of balancing wine
and balancing
In life

But she interrupts
                                 to say
 
                   it was inspired
by the family
who’s young son was killed
in Italy     his organs
donated
                           how she admired
                                              their determination

And in the mix
of tissue
elements
      and languages

(not understanding)

he struggles to remember

                                                her lines

.

.

Marrying Egairia

.
Passing                               
by the light blue
                                            family room
                                            walls

into the kitchen in the aftermath
of childhood
         of water

with only his mother
(Penelopeya)
         left lingering
                                    there    straightening
the background                                   

the chairs
                upended
                                on the dining table           a thicket
                                                                              of elm
                                                                                    legs

the slate glow evening
                                                          
He comes                                         
upon himself          
sitting
                                            talking to Egairia with comfort
and laughter settling
into his body

the interchange                  
                            of familiarity between
                                       them          recognizing
an affinity of smile                        
and similitude   

          of warmth

.

.

The Uncertainty of Water

.walking along                                         
with the flow of the creek                                 
             where he was born     from the stony banks
and thin-leafed trees          

he sees Egairia
feeling tense                                                    
trying to keep   her smile         

her fondness
staying
as if he were hers
He knows                                        

downstream   a way                                                
in the middle                                
of muddy water
there is a fish                     

From the riffles
                       as long    as his arm
                           as fat    as his thigh
                    docile                 as his affection

he brings it       benign                                     
by her doubt
                  to the filleting
          stand
where the elderly
                  woman
 
                   knife in hand
                                     waits to know
              if she’ll give it

                                              a try

.

.

Doctor

.In the hallway
in a hospital    Pahn is looking
for Egairia           

He sees            
      Djuturna in a blue
smock                
              and asks if    
     she knows where
Egairia is                           
 
She says
that she          
doesn’t              know
                                           and turns
                                                 to go

through a door
looking                askance

she closes                                         

.

.

Gifts for Egairia

.On the dormant winter trail
under the polished buckeye   she
stands behind him      uncertain
as he roots around   in the holes   of the earth

trying
to bring out
the small furry

creatures

to show them to her
hoping     they will convince her     console
their uneasiness

as they
go on
walking
over the warrens   of their nurture

without
the possibility of destination
or home

.

.

The Country Fair

.Pahn has driven by himself
to the country fair
                    in the afternoon
to buy books

As a small boy                          
he is standing among the stacks
 
                       He has been told that to be left-
                                 handed
                    like Hehrmess
his father               he cannot
have arms

Looking down at that boy
                      he is pleased to see that he is
armless
 
                                        unable to push away

But there is no one there

An adult                                                
who wants to be harmless would like to reach
                             and hug that child
                               but has to go to find his family…

…Pahn has gone away           and returned in the evening

Here in a dark       wooden room     Ahstrild
                   gives him her friend    before she leaves

Though Pahn has aged
         in these twenty years
Ahstrild’s friend        is still a teenager

They go to
                                 the ride

the one Ahstrild
                                    would have taken him on
They climb in                                                         
and the friend apologizes
                       that they can’t sit...next to
each other          

“They say it is too dangerous
when only two are in the ride”

It is hard to get into                     
the elaborate seat belts
that hold their thighs
and waists
and ankles

A young man joins them
   as the ride becomes 
     another wooden
                                          house

Pahn asks the man    what he has done in all this time
since he   and Ahstrild were young

And the man tells them
“I got a ride with a gentleman
and the car rolled”
                                                            (He is starting to cry)

“And it was a Cadillac”
                                                (He is falling apart
                                                like the car
                                                as it
                                                rolled)

“It cost so much”

There is nothing to be done

Driving again
                                  stopping
at the signs    with the brakes
         that so seldom
                              work on the hills…

…Egairia comes
                                     into the wooden house

Watching at a distance                                               
Pahn sees himself
greet her
He sees himself
talking with her   but   he can’t hear what they are saying
                         his view is grainy in the poor light
                              He can see she is serious...but not upset

She gesticulates
                                             like he does
maybe she shakes

his hand    and they both leave the room

.

.

Phoebe Ann (A Quiet Simple Person)

With his son...Daphnis
casting through the trees
into dark and murky water

taking the line from him
to un-stick it from the bottom
Pahn pulls up a large object
that looks like a rock
but is too light to be stone

It must be Styrofoam
that has been stained
to the core
by the mud
of all these years
of lying on the bottom

A woman across the lake
single
and childless
not distracted by love
focused
professional
is quietly doing well            She walks by
                                           passing out of sight

Pahn takes the tackle
baiting the grapnel hook
with Feta cheese

Wading into the water         A teenage girl comes by
to cast further                        walking across the water
                                                       greeting in French
he swims back                                                 
to the deeper end                      A second comes by
                                                          speaking French
and casts his line                        with a few Spanish words
 
                                                  Pahn asks her if she is American
There are two large                 and she says “yes”
beautiful                                          (Her mix of languages
dark fish                                          gave her away)
circling around Pahn                                                        

One of them strikes the bait                                           
and he yanks the line                                           
to settle the hook                                          

He doesn’t see at first      Pahn is looking for something
where he has hooked it                                                        
but when he takes it            Egairia as a little girl
to show his family                  is walking around him
his wife (Aiks) asks him       Eendekoi as a little boy
why he had to catch it             is walking around him too

And when he asks                   The children are running
if he should let it go                  back      and forth
she says                                                   
that having                       Pahn is rummaging around
caught it                                   in a shoe box
damaged it                         for a present
they should eat it              for Egairia
                                          and Eendekoi
And then he sees                                 
that the hook has torn off                                  
one of its gills                  among the toy cars
showing its many tiny bones  harmonicas
and the tiny heart inside            skeletons
                                                             plastic hearts
                                                               and livers and lungs
 
                                                   Finally he looks down
                                                   and sees at his side
                                                 a little girl
                           with a rifle
on her shoulder—

Annie Oakley
as a child
                  and he thinks

this is the perfect gift

                                                 for them

.

.

A Conversation

.

In the distance
in the background
in silence
like a memory standing
by the bottles
filling with wine
Egairia
is wearing a poem
for safety

a cage of protective words

At the end of the day
Leenaiyos
lets her take off
her shield

and Pahn meets her
beneath the barrel trees

where
only the vulnerable words
in columns
like ribs
cover her breast

.

.

Poems

.

…leaving Leenaiyos
and Kohmohss
without discussion
Pahn rides his bicycle
into his old district neighborhood

Blossom-hill

Oak-meadow

the tracts
that supplanted the orchards
forty years before                                                            he knows them well
                                                              these dark and wooded roads
                                                              of Eithnia’s neighborhood
with their tar and gravel
and rounded curbs
dewy lawns
and daily papers
                                                             almost
                                                              like the damp fringes
                                                            around a pond
He rides to the grocery store
                                                         meeting Aiks
                                                        who takes him to Nordstrom’s

He sees Pitteuss    and Pluta

He is looking for long underwear
                                                          unable
to find his size       embarrassed
wonders if                                they are wondering why
                                                         he is not at work   and if they asked
he would                             
                                                      explain
that he has an appointment
at 9:30—

he looks at the clock
It is time to go
            he tells Aiks

and he walks
                                                  into the library

The priestess comes
but Pahn can’t afford her beauty
and can’t afford health                       
so
                                                  goes back to work to spend
                                                                         time with Yaohwa…

…Athehna comes out of the winery       in the rain
Pahn is surprised
                                          that she has come to see him
                                                                             In bad weather

“There you are”
she says
“I read your poem”
and she hugs him

He knows it is because
                                     of something she saw

but in a moment           
                                                                  he realizes that he is dreaming…

…Standing with Egairia
Pahn wants to give her
                                                            more than conversation

all he has is a poem of a dream
                                                                                           and he knows
                                                             that she doesn’t read poetry
so


quickly
oddly

he conjures                    an African sea captain
 
                    who walks
 
                up the
                 stamped 
           concrete
                     in a Greek
      hat
                   buttoned
       coat
     and
                  greets her

He will interpret….

.