His Contribution to the Party


Pahn has been to a store    where
he has bought something in a bag    to bring
to a gathering of his coworkers

…At the nighttime gathering    he stands   
                                                            and walks
by bales of hay    near large                                                
                        barn-like buildings      turns   
                        nodding   
listening                             
He hears                                                          
Mahreekah talking into her cell-phone     
leaving a message for her daughter    Michaela—
something about depression   
                                                sarcastic  
 self-deprecating   
cheerfully said…                                                             
 …Pahn weaves                                    
briefly                           through a small crowd
consisting of mostly
            very short women
(some he knows   some he doesn’t)
                       
      He finds himself on his knees    and yet                                                
is still taller    than some of them  
  One woman is only                                                                 
            about 2½ feet tall                                                                  
He imagines
that she has never really grown since childhood… 

 …He is ready to give his contribution    but sees
that he has bought bird-seed
                                                by mistake

what did he think he was buying?
 Candy?      Trail-mix?

  He sits on dusty bales    and wonders
why he comes to these parties       He feels
out of place  
and incapable of enjoying himself  
depressed…  

…He is in the building
going down a corridor  
and looks into
one of the rooms
      which he sees is full of children                                   
He senses disapproval    and feels                                    
that he should not be there  
He looks into another room    and sees
    the anticipated band                                                          
playing the Moody Blues’                                                     
                                                    
Tuesday Afternoon                                                    
on strange                                                       
large                                                        
golden instruments                                                        
     (as if they are animated)                                            
                                        
But he doesn’t go in—
he listens from outside…



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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS


Some of these poems originally appeared in the following publications

Avocet
Dream International Quarterly
mojo risin'
The Muse Apprentice Guild (The MAG)
Transfer

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