Pahn has
forgotten so much…
…he has been in
a grocery store buying bread…
…he has been in
the vineyard shop…
…he has walked
out into the vines
He
strolls along the row of turning
leaves
carrying
something
in
his hands
or in his heart
or in his mind it sometimes
soars out over the vines
and
up a hill
Small
bodies
come
to him they waver
between spirits of girls and young women
(sometimes they climb inside him
for what is in his chest)
he makes them
wait for one last throw
He
remembers this much
He
looks down at the object of his
intent
which
he has taken from his body and mind
and
set on the ground with his hands
and considers what he has learned
The girls are waiting at the top of the
hill—
he wants to go there and beyond
He lifts up his message
into the air
where
it disappears and soon can be seen
again
high on the wind
as
a
model plane
that wafts
and dives
unpredictably
Pahn
knows that it is not reliable
But
as he considers the things from his
hands
heart
mind
lying
on the ground
while the young women wait on the hill
he
comes to know
that
he may carry
his messages walking
knowing
they will always be with him
or
he
can carry them
as
he flies
but that is dangerous
because
he
can’t control his flight
or
he
can send them flying
by
themselves
on the wind
He may not know
where they
will end
but
it doesn’t matter
because
he doesn’t know
who they are for
and it is not important
if they are lost
so
he
throws another message
into the ether
and
follows it
up the hill to his girlfriends
and
children
whoever they are
and on
he continues
to
other
heights
as
if he
were
taken along
by the flying
thoughts
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