Small Dark Lips

.

.....For a moment Pahn
......is sitting in the row
......of seats at the top
.....of a small theatre .....though
.....the seats face
................................the projection room
..........................................and not the screen

and the girl .....who
is Daphnis’ love
is by his side
....................................and Pahn is comfortable
.........as she becomes
...................................representative
.............of other small
........dark
........................young women
.................................like Ahnkahmna

They stand by the entrance...............
.........Pahn thinking
.................he has liberty
............to kiss .........and he leans
...............down to the changed young woman’s mouth

...................meeting loosely her lips

.................making
.........a cavern ........where their tongues
........search
......lonely

about...........

.

The Zen Didgeridoo

.

“Zen dog dreams of medium-sized bone” ...............................
—From a greeting card...............................


…in an integrated
.......................living room
vaguely bamboo..... brown
and light green
Pahn’s lips

.....................vibrate inside

the Zen
didgeridoo
as wide
as his
thigh
He is
surprised
that he is
suddenly
able to
breathe
and blow
together
and
attributes
this ability
to the
size of

the Zen.........

.

Suicide Memorial

.

…from an environment.............................
of unpainted ...bleached..............
blue-grey clapboard ...Pahn
takes the short-cut down
a dirt road at dusk
through private property .....He knows
there are

two gates .....The first........................
will be open ...and the second
.....................................will be locked

He is momentarily confident

Beyond the first gate
his car glides on soft .....residential ...dirt
along a fence ...in a wild garden
of pines and shrubs ...past the old woman’s house
.......set deep in the vegetation... showing only
...................its wood and dark .....divided
.....................................................windows

Coming to the second gate ...he thinks
..................................he has the combination
...........................................and leaves his car
but as he leans down...........
....................toward the wood and wire
a red and white..........
...........................sheriff’s ride
..............................stops behind

The sheriff gets out..........................
and pulls phone cord.........
...........from beneath Pahn’s bumper
....................and quickly ...ties the hood open
...................................................in anger
explaining as he calms..............

“The old woman’s daughter
pestered her to death”

and Pahn responds....................

“What has that got to do
with me?”

The sheriff walks with Pahn
back up the road .....then turns around
and gesturing
at the rails on the fence .......carved for its length
...........................................with crowded names
sadly sighs...................

“So many suicides”

taking chalk he inscribes
..................something illegible
...........................................on the rail

another name


.......................and Pahn wonders
................................by the damp
..................................................littoral (literal?) fringe
.........................................what he has done

.

Eiriu's Pool

…Pahn follows the small clear stream                         

through the large garden      like

the yard of his teens                                 

  that will be his soon                    but

     is no longer from his past        

             

The stream

trips     

over brown

and rust

bedrock

 on its way down

the long

gentle slope     

‘till

it veers left                               

and rushes                                           

             into the pool                                                                            

at the edge of the property                                                     

There is a thin rim of rock                                                      

along the north edge     where                                                  

the water slips out       and crashes

down into a culvert to re-circulate                                               

Pahn slides         into the water

and swims       

Pahn is thinking of Eiriu

who is sunbathing nearby     with a friend

           

(He will invite her to live with him       and she will say yes        

She will tell him                                                                        

that he will need to calm the current in the pool

so that her friends don’t get swept away)              

When it is time to leave

for the land is not yet his

       he finds her clarinet            

and plays a few notes   

(She will ask him                                                                  

     where he learned to play  and                  

he will answer)                                                             

This is his reverie 

He sees her in her dark blue     one-piece bathing suit

swimming in his pool    

He sees her in a short black dress                               

with a rope for a belt

swimming in his pool

           

Her vegan body is thin and flat                                            

She is always damp…                                                           

…Pahn is carrying her clarinet case

          through the house 

There are people coming         and going           

In the kitchen

he sees

his grandfather (Zeyeuss)

cooking

and when Pahn leaves the room

Zeyeuss follows            

and hugs him

Pahn is surprised             and intimidated

by Zeyeuss’ size and strength—

almost menacing             because

in the past Zeyeuss

was short             and old             and mild-

   tempered

Pahn                                                                            

continues about the house         

waiting for his inheritance

for his future

of peace

and Eiriu…

Self Realization

Pahn has been incarcerated for many years

He is walking up a dirt road

along a gentle ridge

with the presence of the warden in his mind    

He hears the warden say

 that he has not been granted parole

and he knows

that he is not free

 remarking

dejectedly

 to himself and the warden

that it is a fine line

between freedom            and constraint…

…He turns to see a small stream

descending the crease in a hill

slowly filling a pond   

The pond is nearly full             but

the rain has stopped

and the pond will not be quenched…

…It is a fine line

he thinks

between plateau             and orgasm

the warmth rising

from the bare reddish

ground     in the late winter

fills him slightly        but

      not overflowing

                                    never ascends to joy    

These things

he observes to himself

as he rolls over    

between sleep and waking                            

uneasily                      

delaying the day

The Slightly Persian Family

Pahn and Aiks    have come                                                       

        to the museum of natural history  

          It is crowded                  Pahn notices                                        

a particular family—                                                          

three children and an adult 

that seems familiar      somehow      and

follows them upstairs                                    

Pahn thinks                                                                              

 that there is something                    

                       slightly Persian

about them      and wonders

 if one of their parents was from Iran

  As they are filing past a series                                              

         of exhibits 

he catches                                                                   

a bit of a docent’s talk                            

           about a creature that lives                             

         in swamps and bogs                            

He isn’t sure                                                                

what kind of creature it is     and

when he comes                                                

      to the small aquarium                                 

where it is held                           

the water                     

                                is full of many small animals—

 fish

pollywogs

         larvae    

and he isn’t sure                             

which she was describing

but assumes

it must have been the fish 

                       

He goes downstairs to find Aiks again…                       

 …Pahn and Aiks                                                                

and the slightly Persian family

are walking through town                                 

to a house that they are all sharing             

Aiks comments to Pahn                                    

 that the youngest child

 “is really strange

and is kind of annoying”

Pahn agrees                                                     

                                   

“The boy is a little odd”

but he does not find the boy annoying

He seems like                                                  

a child who                  

has not had adequate attention

                      because his parents have been too busy

 

As Pahn watches the children                                   

     cavorting as they make their way home        

          he begins to wonder                                                

if they could be Ahnaheeta’s children—

Her father was Zoroastrian

      He looks at them closely                                         

to see if there is a resemblance

but is unsure…

 …When they arrive at the house                                      

they all settle in

                                               

Pahn sits on the couch                                      

      while the slightly Persian family              

                      stands in a group     nearby                                         

discussing arrangements               

Their mother comes in the room                           

and Pahn                                                         

 watches her                            

as she walks by him 

She does not notice him                                            

     at first     and he

doesn’t get a good look                                

at her face     but

she is thin

   and small

                                           and has Ahnaheeta’s black hair 

She talks to her family

in a calm

                              authoritative hurry

Pahn watches her head pivot                          

                              slowly              

in his direction

as she contemplates some question

and sees                                              

the recognition bloom

awkwardly on her face 

She smiles                               

and comes over to him

He can see that she is                                       

surprised                                             

and a little embarrassed                                            

  at the coincidence of them sharing a house

He gets up

and they hug affectionately

She says a few words

and they hug again

Pahn wonders                          

what Aiks is thinking

                        of this affectionate greeting  

He is overjoyed    to see Ahnaheeta again     

but he can tell

that Ahnaheeta finds it stressful

and would rather

         he weren’t there