The Appearance of Junipera

Wandering about     Mutable U.

Which seems like Santa Cruz

Pahn finds himself being chased by two teenagers

across        the ravine

                        up through the forest

                        out of the coastal range

those local hills

he trespassed so much

in his youth

                                                into the Range of Light

                                        and deep snow

                        amused by his sudden need

                for a dogsled

He thinks they will catch him

slowed by the snow

He thinks they will not       because

they don’t really need to

                       and its cold and hard going for them

But as he climbs       he realizes

                that he has dreamed this wrong—

between the Santa Cruz Mountains

                        and the Sierra Nevada

there is a valley

                               and     he has not crossed this valley

So he has to start again                                                                                                        

looking back over                                        

the Sierran forests             

he sees Ben Lomond Mt.                            

and the afternoon ocean

behind it

and his sight zooms in                                  

to see himself standing there

                       Again he is ascending

                             through the mixed conifers

                                                and future cabins

                                 the snow having melted

                                    the air thick with June

                        and coming to the crest

                                                            of a hill

                              he finds the ideal meadow

and comments to Aiks

                        who isn’t there

“This is the place”

                        But it is probably already taken

                        And he doesn’t have time to stop…

…He is near that section of town                                                               

                        Portland/Santa Cruz

with its large wild park                                                         

and old mansion                                                           

that he dreamed                                  

with his wife/sister                                

fifteen years before…         

…and now he is walking                                                                                

where his grandfather Zeyeuss lived

                        Santa Barbara

in the same wet dusk                                        

on the same degree of slope                        

with the same sense of era                             

looking out over                                                                

   Ben Lomond Mountain again                        

at the fog    finally              

overcoming its summit

                        after months of dry wind

And into this gray mist walks Junipera                                                          

with her fine      fairy features

and her doubtful manner                                    

   doing her best                                         

to understand  

     and convey ideas               

in conversation

                        conversation now lost

 Pahn smiles his twenty-years-                                                  

                 older smile

feels a little guilty                                       

and walks away               

  into the building           

     at Mutable U. again          

    scuttling through            

        short corridors         

with many doors

                        leading to identical corridors

                        with identical doors

Amused                                  

that his dream is doing this to him

    he wonders with some hopeful

                        anticipation

where he will come out

but he never does

More Repairs

In a house

of his American ancestors

going out of the comfort

to continue on his way

Pahn inspects the inherited dwelling

of white wood

with green trim

needing paint

                  cleaning

                          minor repairs

He finds a section of the walls

where the boards

            have deteriorated

                                              where leaves and water                              

                           have fallen inside the walls

He considers the mending

[If he replaces only the worn wood

the detritus will remain

inside

rotting

with the wood lice]

Grandpa Zeyeuss’ design

Doesn’t seem very well

but he supposes it will do

if kept in constant repair

Eiriu's Pool

…Pahn follows the small clear stream                         

through the large garden      like

the yard of his teens                                 

  that will be his soon                    but

     is no longer from his past        

             

The stream

trips     

over brown

and rust

bedrock

 on its way down

the long

gentle slope     

‘till

it veers left                               

and rushes                                           

             into the pool                                                                            

at the edge of the property                                                     

There is a thin rim of rock                                                      

along the north edge     where                                                  

the water slips out       and crashes

down into a culvert to re-circulate                                               

Pahn slides         into the water

and swims       

Pahn is thinking of Eiriu

who is sunbathing nearby     with a friend

           

(He will invite her to live with him       and she will say yes        

She will tell him                                                                        

that he will need to calm the current in the pool

so that her friends don’t get swept away)              

When it is time to leave

for the land is not yet his

       he finds her clarinet            

and plays a few notes   

(She will ask him                                                                  

     where he learned to play  and                  

he will answer)                                                             

This is his reverie 

He sees her in her dark blue     one-piece bathing suit

swimming in his pool    

He sees her in a short black dress                               

with a rope for a belt

swimming in his pool

           

Her vegan body is thin and flat                                            

She is always damp…                                                           

…Pahn is carrying her clarinet case

          through the house 

There are people coming         and going           

In the kitchen

he sees

his grandfather (Zeyeuss)

cooking

and when Pahn leaves the room

Zeyeuss follows            

and hugs him

Pahn is surprised             and intimidated

by Zeyeuss’ size and strength—

almost menacing             because

in the past Zeyeuss

was short             and old             and mild-

   tempered

Pahn                                                                            

continues about the house         

waiting for his inheritance

for his future

of peace

and Eiriu…

Zeyeuss

Hehrmess’ father, a god of many things.


The Appearance of Junipera
More Repairs
Eiriu’s Pool
.