Ahnaheeta

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The World River ...unclouded
flowing .pale.........
surface black .........hair
dark ...cobbled eyes............................
below.........
parted skin
fluttering .....voice
giving curves......
to the earth ...skirts................
to the fields ...................................
persistently.............................
unharmed ....quenching.........................................
is spread over..........
the lowlands absorb

cool ...soften .........fill
braiding .......frayed .........embracing
thirst....................
...........turning ........away fingers ..tracing grass ........touch
the roots....................

.........collide

fend desiccation
..................we sink in

.....................................penetrate

sleep...................................................
................................................................restore

nurse............

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Ahnaheeta's Bath

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Ahnaheeta and Pahn
they are in an old house
...........................with Penelopeya
collecting dust.........................
on their clothes
.......................................as they wait in the dining room
for a dinner .......and watch
.......................and listen as Penelopeya performs
her shy....
frail..........
..........................................confidence in her domestic tasks—
..........hostess
..................table-setter

She is dark
..........................and light blue

She excuses herself half timid
half admonishing
...........................................................fleeing to another wing

Ahnaheeta asks for a bath
and is shown the large
.....................................Victorian baignoire…

…after a while Pahn goes in
..........................to see how Ahnaheeta is doing
and he is surprised to find
...............that she has strewn ....her
......................................................................clothes
and towels...........................................................
............................................around
the room.............

She is reclining..........................
in the claw-foot tub
..............looking at him with her
..................................................................controlled interest
only a hint
..........................of awkwardness
.......................................on her cheeks

He sees her thin
.....................................................pale chest .....in the water
cloudy
...................................................with suspended soap
...............................................................................and minerals

He walks to the edge.................
........................................of the tub ....and bends
down to her.....
asking
....................................................if he may kiss her

She almost smiles.....................
her small delicate mouth
parting
...............and tilts
......................................................her head..... just enough

They touch dryly.......................
at first
.............then bend their lips a little
............and he is relieved when
..........................her shoulders loosen
......................................................and she lets her eyelids
rest

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Ahnaheeta's City Streets

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…at Ahnaheeta’s house
Pahn and his new friends
pose for a photo
...........................among
...........................the jumbled presents
leaning
...confused
..crowded
the Christmas tree ragged
..................................................................and thin above them…

…on a tour of the town
alone
but imagining Aiks
to see the buildings...................
the places where strangers live
the styles they live in................
and the architecture
of commerce
........................................sales
He is particularly fascinated by
.....a high glass room
appended....
.............to a square street house
brass lamps..
like furniture
..........settled at the bottom
of a terrarium
He wanders through walls
and wends among
white...........................
gypsum ........................
asbestos .......................
melanine ......................
counters and stalls ............
for selling cheap..... bright .
clean items ....................
costume jewelry ..............
clothes .........................
ice cream cones...............

older women with provincial
hair and short .................
round ...........................
loose fitting bodies ..........

Smiling casually ..............................................
as he makes his way out
......................................................to the street
talking to an interviewer ....he says........

“I worked there for fourteen years........................................
..........................................I’d better know how to do it by now”…

…Pahn ....suddenly
realizes
..............................he is late for French

He walks quickly uptown......
to a narrow stairwell
.....................................................in a tall building
.................where he stops to help someone
.................................................................he knows
............................................................................................with something
............and now he is even later for French

He turns on the landing...........
and considers his tardiness

“Oh well” he says
................................................................to Aiks in her absence
and descends
............................to the street…

…at Ahnaheeta’s house again
.............his new friends have left
and he was going...............
....................................................to meet them somewhere
but he tells Ahnaheeta
...........................that he has nearly given up
and he is glad......................
.......................when she says
.......................that she isn’t going either

She is cleaning up......................
.........................from the party
moving to and fro
talking to Pahn
....................................................without meeting his eyes

and he rakes ....absentmindedly
................a pile of coins off a table
......................thinking they may be his
and then..................
.....................puts some back
..................................thinking he has taken too much
and all the while.....................
wishing..........................................
...........to lie tired
.....................................beside her
.....................on the couch
.........................in her home

the way she talks to him
.....................................................looking away
.............the way she allows for his presence
he imagines................................
her small body
.........................................wrapped in his sleep.

An Inner Skin

Pahn is on the owner’s mountain

where the owner is building

Pahn walks through gravel

and sand dodging around

excavators looking for something 

He sees through a locked gate

a grove      

(he has been longing for a certain pine) 

He slips into the wild land     down

through the meadow      toward

the grove                      but before he reaches it

the manager sends his dogs out to stop him 

Pahn is not afraid of the dogs     and

puts out his arm for them to chew on 

They bite

him in a friendly and affectionate manner 

The manager comes down to him

and Pahn tells him about the tree that he desires       saying

he only wants a very small one

small enough to transplant

with just a shovel      and the manager

nods  smiling    and Pahn knows he will have to try again later

As they walk back       Pahn sees

many small and beautiful

pines and false hemlocks that have come into the meadow

and many more beneath the groves that border it      and

to the south there is a steep     and rocky hill     and

in its shade he finds a true fir

young and healthy

and he runs his hands through her soft needles

…

Pahn is in his parent’s house with Ahnaheeta

in the bedroom where he slept

holding her legs apart

                               and sliding into her

When she gasps

and relaxes

he turns her over     and

pulls her onto him again      and

         again     easily for she is small and light 

Her head is lost turning                                     

     in the pillow     and her dark hair swings

up her sloping back      as he feels

himself moving in

     and out of her soggy vagina       she begins

to disappear from his view      first                                        

      her head and shoulders                                                          

      and then her back           In a moment

       she has become only her genitals

                   to which his testicles have attached         and

finally she is just        

her inner skin             

         which he grips around his penis

                    with his hand 

As he finishes

he hears Ahnjehlia 

(or perhaps Aiks?)     in the hall

and lies back down

pulling up the sheet and

dropping her skin                                                                                    

into the blankets that have sloughed                                            

     off the side of the bed                                                                         

Confidence

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…Pahn
as a woman ...walks
in a bare
modern ...middle-class
hallway to the door
that he (she) has
forgotten how to open ...while
his (her) husband calls from the next room

“It’s Mother”

and Pahn muttering ...clears
the debris from the entry

.....................“It’s Mother” ........imagining
a small ...elderly ...ill-tempered woman

When Pahn turns
back from the door
he is a detective investigating a robbery…
…after inspecting the house...................................
Pahn walks ......................................
down another hall ............................
...................to a room like a children’s church

...................considering
a list of things that thieves might steal .........things
that could be sold for cash
jewelry.........
electronics ....
even ...paintings................
though he sees no artwork in the house

The list becomes...................................................
a collection of words that visitors
have found in envelopes ....and
.............taken with them as they left .....leaving
...................the discarded wrappers in the lobby by the

exit…

…Pahn has found
Ahnaheeta in the church .......leaning
over a plastic barrel of water
and when Pahn comes up to her
she stands up straight
and reads to herself
a list of attributes on the wall
and says
“you look into the bucket and
.............................it tells you something about yourself today”

so Pahn looks......................................................
into the bucket and considers.................
the schema on the wall.............
and sees that it has changed

He cannot know what Ahnaheeta’s schema was

The chart consists................................................
of a series of characteristics..................
with a numerical rating........................
for current levels .............and
he finds to his surprise........................
that he is
............................above all else
confident…

…Walking
through an oak savannah
along a road
at the bottom of an empty reservoir ...he marvels
that he is confident ...because
he had always thought
..........................that he wasn’t ..........and wonders

..................... “If it isn’t lack of confidence

then...............................
.............................it must be something else”
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The Slightly Persian Family

Pahn and Aiks    have come                                                       

        to the museum of natural history  

          It is crowded                  Pahn notices                                        

a particular family—                                                          

three children and an adult 

that seems familiar      somehow      and

follows them upstairs                                    

Pahn thinks                                                                              

 that there is something                    

                       slightly Persian

about them      and wonders

 if one of their parents was from Iran

  As they are filing past a series                                              

         of exhibits 

he catches                                                                   

a bit of a docent’s talk                            

           about a creature that lives                             

         in swamps and bogs                            

He isn’t sure                                                                

what kind of creature it is     and

when he comes                                                

      to the small aquarium                                 

where it is held                           

the water                     

                                is full of many small animals—

 fish

pollywogs

         larvae    

and he isn’t sure                             

which she was describing

but assumes

it must have been the fish 

                       

He goes downstairs to find Aiks again…                       

 …Pahn and Aiks                                                                

and the slightly Persian family

are walking through town                                 

to a house that they are all sharing             

Aiks comments to Pahn                                    

 that the youngest child

 “is really strange

and is kind of annoying”

Pahn agrees                                                     

                                   

“The boy is a little odd”

but he does not find the boy annoying

He seems like                                                  

a child who                  

has not had adequate attention

                      because his parents have been too busy

 

As Pahn watches the children                                   

     cavorting as they make their way home        

          he begins to wonder                                                

if they could be Ahnaheeta’s children—

Her father was Zoroastrian

      He looks at them closely                                         

to see if there is a resemblance

but is unsure…

 …When they arrive at the house                                      

they all settle in

                                               

Pahn sits on the couch                                      

      while the slightly Persian family              

                      stands in a group     nearby                                         

discussing arrangements               

Their mother comes in the room                           

and Pahn                                                         

 watches her                            

as she walks by him 

She does not notice him                                            

     at first     and he

doesn’t get a good look                                

at her face     but

she is thin

   and small

                                           and has Ahnaheeta’s black hair 

She talks to her family

in a calm

                              authoritative hurry

Pahn watches her head pivot                          

                              slowly              

in his direction

as she contemplates some question

and sees                                              

the recognition bloom

awkwardly on her face 

She smiles                               

and comes over to him

He can see that she is                                       

surprised                                             

and a little embarrassed                                            

  at the coincidence of them sharing a house

He gets up

and they hug affectionately

She says a few words

and they hug again

Pahn wonders                          

what Aiks is thinking

                        of this affectionate greeting  

He is overjoyed    to see Ahnaheeta again     

but he can tell

that Ahnaheeta finds it stressful

and would rather

         he weren’t there 

Ahnaheeta

Goddess of rivers and lakes, patroness of women, poetess.


Ahnaheeta
Ahnaheeta’s Bath
Ahnaheeta’s City Streets
An Inner Skin
Copper Wire
Confidence
The Slightly Persian Family
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