Withdrawal

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Staying in his hometown                    
thinking in the past                   
Pahn decides to try to find Rakhehla                
Wondering
why he hasn’t thought of it before
he calls information                  
and talks to her family   
getting her address            
                                         and phone number

She is living in the Heights                           
at the base of El Sereno                     
Pahn goes to see her                                                       
happy                                                      
that she is still alive…

        …and they talk awhile
        though he can’t hear the words
                       sitting on the floor
                                 in her wooden house
                                   in front of the empty fireplace
                   with her books
         and her easels
 
                                      And on the mountain
                                         in the background
                        there is a stream of pilgrims
      going into the wilderness
that Pahn for the moment
doesn’t need

…

Pahn and Aiks are by a river
 the water acting strangely
falling                                                
through chutes and ladders
the wild stone                                                        
and the engineered concrete

There is woodland nearby                                
where Pahn’s family owns a parcel
for camping


Looking across the wood

Pahn knows he has killed someone

and the body will soon be found

He knows he can hide
                         in the wilderness
He knows he needs
very little
just a steel knife
for carving
and a hatchet
                                    would help

He thinks for a moment                                         
he should have a gun to hunt
but thinks again
            that he doesn’t need even that
                He knows how to make a bow out of yew
and arrows
and to make fire with a wooden drill
and the habits of animals
and the plants he can eat

He knows it allfrom when he was a young hermit
and made plans
           to leave society
and spent his ten years
in the wilderness
avoiding
             civilization

He goes to a store to buy the knife and hatchet
but he hasn’t enough cash
                              and is afraid to use his credit card
because           it could be traced
                                     and they may have already found
                                                               the body

They may already be looking for him

…

He is in his bathroom                                     
looking in the mirror       
He sees that he has gone bald                        
and his head                                          
looks very strange

He combs the hair that is left      thinking it might help
and it grows   as he combs it
He sees a few strands        of forest green
as it lengthens
then more strands    of Kelly green
It gets greener         and brighter
as he combs out        the tangles
until it is fluorescent
                               day glow
                                                green bice

He asks his wife                                                           
               if someone has   put bleach in his hair
He wonders     how he can go to work
                               with this kind of hair
but he knows    he can

                 because              others have

.

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