Vague and Scattered Betrothals

Pahn is standing with a woman 

Her legs show beneath

her tan leather dress     the color

                              of a leaf

                          on the forest floor 

She is friendly

                              and amorous…

…they are lying in the bed on the floor of her room…

…She is kneeling over him 

He feels her warmth               

and dampness                                      

as she eases herself                                         

down onto him                                                         

He feels the faint buzzing                                       

as he flexes              

and relaxes                           

               He feels his body open

  

    from his thighs              

              to his chest     His heart

             lies motionless in his throat

                                                         and he swells

with air           his sex in a knot

                                              rising

  He tells her             

                 that he may be

                                                      more successful on top

                                           and is thinking

                 of kneeling behind her

                but rolls over

                                                 with her instead    and pushes

       between her legs

                                       a few times

                                                               and bursts

As he lies on top

of her lifting

the blanket with his back

and slowly

sliding over by her side                     he struggles

 to remember her name—Sekwia

                                         Esentia

                                             Sukaya

Sequaya

though he would pronounce it as Sequoia

He has become sure

and the name

                    sticks in his mind…

…He walks around thinking of Sequaya…

…Sequaya is

                     pregnant

with Pahn’s child         and he wants

to marry her

                                   but he is not sure if he may 

He vaguely thinks

that he might already

                     be married

or that he is betrothed

to someone else—   

there is             

                  someone else in his mind

                             that he could marry instead…

…He is walking

on a flooded street

as he worries

that he may not be able

to properly support

Sequaya’s child

and another family as well 

Across the street he sees

a small pear tree

turning yellow and scarlet

from the autumn cold                

 He thinks it is a good tree for

his coming marriage    because

 it has stayed small

 and it is very pretty 

He remembers though

that in other places

with more fertile soil

it can grow quite large—

too large for a small yard 

He thinks he may need

a bigger

more ragged woman…

…he is standing on a road by a creek looking at the erosion 

that occurred while the water was high

wondering why they have not

put cobbles or boulders in the vulnerable places

to keep the soil from washing out

Marriages

                     and proposals

leaves             

                                 and stems

Dimphna                      

flits

                  flying

Eithnia

                fades into

the covers       into

the trees

                                                   a scattering

of betrothals                          

comes

                                in the rain

a landscape

                       of potential love

unsecured affections

                             gathering

                                                to hover around

Pahn overwhelmed                        

By his high water        

Like a Spirit

…leaving the hill cellars

Pahn climbs to the ridge        where

he can look down on the valley

and is met there by Ahdahn

who speaks to him

in friendly

but inherent condescension

 

At a fork in the trail

                                              Pahn

chooses the one that descends

to the wild side           into the canyon

  

 The winter pastures are barren

with the soil soft

and saturated below

a veneer

of fine gravel 

As he nears the stream

at the bottom                                       

the slope is cut with gullies

      

A rough and brown outcropping blocks

his view to the south              

The far bank of the stream is gentle

and covered with growing grass            budding shrubs

There is

 a scattered encampment

of Mexican ranch-hands 

He dives

into the water

and swims

downstream…

 

…Out of the water he arrives

                at a bunker                                   

    still high above the valley

where

he learns

to pass through         through

concrete walls            Pass through

like

a

spirit…

Part 14: A Guide to the Spirit World

Of Granite Lakes
Juna's Garden
Chandra--a Guide to the Spirit World
Of Desire Lost
Signature
In a Basin a little Enchanted
Free Affection
.

Of Granite Lakes

…Pahn has been wondering

if when walking

in the snow at night

one can see the way

 by the reflected light

as he puts this question into words

he

glides

into     

a winter       

thicket     of     conifers      

following

a trail

   in the dark

the snow

   glowing

 faintly

 beneath him

The trail leads to a road

  He                            

          plods                           

past a parking lot

  and small                     

                         building

all covered by an even fresh-fallen layer           all glowing

a dim blue-grey

slowly

 lightening

He leaves the road by an empty lodge

crossing into a rocky landscape       where

he hears the voices of a couple just awakening

  

His mind wanders onto a map         where

he sees he is

 in a high       hanging valley           

and he hears the name of a river and meadows  

In his next view

he is looking down

on the valley    deeply gouged

and scraped down to the grey granite by ice

and to the north-east a slope rises to fluted cliffs 

thousands of feet high 

On the ground he crosses

a small rise in the trail             to where he has

a closer view up the valley        that holds  a long

wide pool in a hollow…

…He has gone to the concession and returned with Aiks

He leaves Aiks

following

Pholoa

or someone like her

                  who wanders

over the ascending

granite

             shelves

             toward the cliff

and near the highest

 shelf            

he sees that the slope levels out   

and he wonders if there is

a lake

at the foot of the chute                     

though he hasn’t seen it on the map

Then Aiks comes to lead him back              

encouraging him to think

that there is a lake

and turning away

from Pholoa’s path

he looks back out across the valley

and sees

far below and away                                                  

the shimmer of water                                        

but turning back again

toward the cliff

he has come upon a large and cold

grey-green-blue

lake that brims      

                                                    to the edge of the shelf

Juna's Garden

Pahn is lying in a garden

with Juna

Her head is on his chest

 

She instructs him

to nibble

on her ear          He

bends

down easily

as if he had no body

with his tongue

under her lobe              his lips drag

awkwardly

over her

feeling the convolutions

of her hearing

  “You didn’t do it very well”

She says

He already knows that                                  

His heart wasn’t in it

but he knows

her pale is fleshy

and her smallness soft

and that he might

if he thinks of her as a coquette

and not a queen

enjoy her

like cream