All Knowing it All

In a lowland canyon

     at a minor confluence

Pahn walks along a river     rough                    

                                             with its broken

cottonwoods          bent willows           

mounds                                

of gravel      sand        

 and slabs                                    

        of exposed bedrock

                         He is looking for a site

                        to build by hand

                                               a temporary residence

He has long known              He is considering the runoff              

 that he could never                                                                  

   get inside                             from the canyon walls                 

the protection of belief                                                  

                                                                                               

He is either inside                  in the winter rain                 

           the door                           and what it might do          

 or outside                              the foundation        

and there is no talking through it                                                

                                                                                               

 if he chooses this spot 

Yaohwa arrives                                                          

with his quick assumptions      telling Pahn

what he has already observed

                        and what to do

                                         Pahn wants Yaohwa to go away

                                               to leave Pahn to his nature

                                                    to let Pahn use and expand

Is he to fight Yaohwa                           his own confidence       

            for the rest of his life?                                                                 

       Or will a time come                                                      

                 when Pahn has vanquished him?               

Boundary

…waiting at the sign

     at the boundary

                                        of the wilderness area

he is trying                                                                   

to find something that is missing

He goes into the wilderness without it

whatever it was

crossing the gray                

                      broken ground

                        in fields

                                  among bare oaks

The late autumn                                                

lighting the bits of twig             

and dead leaf

thin lines

    and spots

                        of shine

Through like a wind                                         

   a strong runner

                outlaw

                                               with new basketball shoes

  flies by

            out of sight

Pahn goes on                                                                                 

along a fence line                                                                  

   meeting safe men                                                                         

         from the old posse        

asking if he has                                                

      weapons                           

for protection

Pahn has several rifle boxes              

    at his camp                        

        in the dell                    

                        The camp has the air

                        of a man

                        in the 1870s

                        traveling in the West

                        with his young wife

but like a magician                                  

who has made things

disappear

He opens each box                                                                 

   to find it empty                                      

finally taking out                                          

a blunderbuss                      

rusted

   and complicated

      without ball                   

               or powder           

In moments                                                     

the outlaw passes by

  The posse gives chase

and in moments more                                       

the posse comes back                             

with its dogs

confused

and disoriented

Pahn tells them which way the outlaw went

and notes to himself

 one of the dogs                                        

is chewing on a basketball shoe

but the posse knows                                 

by now

that they will never catch him

Pahn goes back up the hill

where

along the fence

he meets

a group of immigrants

                        mixed Swedes and Danes

                            with a couple of Peruvians

They trap Pahn against the fence              

and they surround him                                                            

with smiling                                                      

mischievous faces               

grabbing his arms                                                                    

putting their hands inside his coat                

      their fingers in                    

                                    his eyes

                                   and ears

until he becomes annoyed                                            

yelling                                      

“What’s wrong

With you people”

at which they move on                                  

still laughing

like elves                                

…

Pahn has gone out                                                                         

and been at work                                                      

with friends                                          

  and acquaintances                            

in large rooms

and on paved paths

And coming back                                                   

to the wilderness sign                        

Pahn would go in again            

but he is missing

something—

it is a long                    

and furry

tail

that he won’t go in without

But when he finds it             

he turns around

and goes back    instead

                                                  to his community

He and She

…Curling alone  

                         in a womb       

                         of blankets

                         into a fetal roll

                     his head bends

             past his knees         

        and thighs                        

          surprised                       

         that he can reach                                                        

round mouth    

surrounding                             

  sliding down                                                  

                                                                                               

     feeling the tip                                                                                              

     touching                                                                             

    the back of his throat                                                                                        

 his lips pushing                                                                        

to the base                                                                                                      

of soft hair                                                                               

a sense

of compact

wholeness

tactile

and oral

 self comforting

sufficient

 indulgence

…

Stepping into a room     filled with the presence

of a busy

                 and ample woman

instantly aware

of the impact her body would have    

                                                 against him

the hollows      

                        that could only be touched      

by

bending      or caressing down

 his hands

Though                                    

she is ignoring him

he knows                                                        

that she is aware                                      

and                 

             is here     still                                

                                               

because

there is no reason             

for her to leave

Athehna's Place

He is looking for something he needs
                                                at work
 
He circles through the complex
 leaving     by the empty door
                        into the bright
                        encompassing haze…
 
…Coming out of the door    again
                        by the pond
 
where Athehna sits
                        sometimes smiling
                        sometimes giving
                                                her concerned
                                                            guardian look
                        glancing down
                        while dragging confidence
                                                out of her cigarette
                        and turning back to Pahn
                        with reassuring
                                                      satisfied interest
 
She takes him home                         
to her husband                         
where he is welcome         
                                   but only for a while
 
Pahn is confused                                 
trying out her husband’s
high IQ
artsy
         Cadillac
 
     anticipating 
                   his own departure
 
 

Saturday Morning

.

Looking up
from sleep
he saw a word

like a signature
or a scrawl

"bad"
or "Biad"
or finally
"bid"

he started to wonder why
it was written there
and what
it was meant to convey

Blinking his eyes
it went away
dust

.

.